Echoes of the Past
by ToinKs
Summary: She lives for power and her hunger is insatiable. Make a mistake and starve with all the unemployed. Disobey and be ready to pack your bags. The message is clear: DON'T GET IN HER WAY. It's that simple. Or so many thought...
1. Silent Recollections

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing that came from the original manga, except the little poems scattered here and there and the unfamiliar characters.

**Read & REVIEW please. **

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past**

**Prologue**

The antique grandfather clock in the corner of the room pointed both hands at the delicately curved number twelve. It was midnight, and if one would only care to gaze up, one would notice that on the forty-fifth floor of the Maple Hotel, like a lighted candle swimming in an ocean of darkness, a single room has its lights still turned on. The loud and eerie tick-tocking was unnerving, even disturbing, as its rhythmic pulse seem to reverberate on the walls. Yet, a woman still sat behind a smooth large black desk, brows furrowed in concentration, unmoved. It was always she who leaves the skyscraper last, going home in the wee hours of the morning, dropping off to bed and yet coming in right on time, prim and proper as always, the next day.

Finally, the woman closed the thick leather-bound journal, replacing the silver plated pen on the holder as she sat back allowing herself to sink into the comforts of the custom-made chair. It was the first and only break she took after working for eight whole hours straight. She sighed, and with long slender fingers and perfectly manicured nails, massaged her strained neck to get rid of the cricks.

Her stomach complained loudly. Its nagging seem to echo in her ears amidst the deafening silence of the confined room. The acids in her stomach were starting to juice up, but she simply popped a chalky white tablet into her mouth and ignored the incessantly growing hunger pangs. She is used to pulling an all-nighter with tons of paperwork and only strong brewed coffee for company. It's just the way she works...more like an unfeeling machine rather than a human being.

_Handling a vast corporation is not an easy job, but somebody's got to do it_, has almost become her motto.

And that somebody is she. Doumyouji Kaede.

Even just the name itself strikes fear in the hearts of many. She is known worldwide for her vast wealth and successful business transactions. She's sly. She's cold-blooded. And, she's brutally frank. She has been likened to a vicious pirate in the business world, much more similar to the ruthless, plundering Vikings in ancient times. Let her see a weakness, a loophole or an unfound potential in your company, be it big or small, and no sooner will you be absorbed into her continuously growing assets and properties.

She lives for power and her hunger is insatiable.

Make a mistake and starve with all the unemployed.

Disobey a single command and be ready to pack your bags.

Mess with her and die.

The message is clear: DON'T GET IN HER WAY. It's that simple.

**Or so many thought.**

****


	2. Benign, Beguiled

**Author's Notes:** Thank you to all the reviewers of the previous chapter ! I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

**Benign, Beguiled**

New York was alive during the night. From the window overlooking the city, one could see far beyond. The lights from the infrastructures resembled pieces of lighted puzzles, like stars but in countless colors, amusing and beautiful in the darkness. Nightlife is always so inspirited, so rejuvenating, so energized...and yet, so fake. How many only dared to reveal their true selves in the dark? How many of them are trying to find solitude and inner peace, hiding from their inner demons through painted masks? How many of them danced to the loud music in order to drown out the small voices that whisper from their guilty conscience? How many of them are pieces of the big puzzle, lost and desperately trying to find salvation or any tinge of hope in this world?

And how many of them still believe they could?

In the faint light, the make-up could not cover the wrinkles now lining her once smooth face. She still looked younger than her actual age, and that didn't cost cheap. Her blood-sucking therapists and dermatologists take credit for that. Thank God for Botox. But the jagged cracks started presenting themselves again just a few months after. She was getting old, and she was getting old fast.

Was it the pressure from corrupted politicians who wanted a raise in their "collections"? The stubborn owner of that old tractor factory? The heavy and endless contracts she had to read through? The stress or rather, the lack of stress, from her personal life? The ruckus by the workers she had to 'dispose' every now and then?

Hardly.

It was only in rare times like this that she could actually sit back and be alone with her thoughts for a moment. And the rarer it happened, the better. Her closed eyes ensnared her to a place in memory lane that she has always pushed back in the deepest hollows of her mind...wanting to forget and move on. But as much as she prefers to have selective amnesia, it always comes back, haunting her like unrelenting phantoms of the past.

"Yo."

A boy of sixteen years of age walked up to her, his wavy hair barely touching his ear slightly bounced at his every step. He was tall, six-feet tall to be precise, with a slender yet muscular built and a smile that had unarmed all the girls at their school.

She was just fifteen back then, a junior in high school. She was a little thin, of average height, but pretty in her pale porcelain-like skin, shoulder length hair and stunning brown eyes. She was actually attractive, but there was something distinctly different in her that separated her from rest. Perhaps it was the way she carried herself or they way she walked on, acting as if you were non-existent, or perchance, it was her disguised fear, not wanting to be discovered. But whatever it was, did not actually make her a popular object of affection.

Contrary to outward appearance, Kaede did not try to be place herself on the pedestal. Sure, she was rich, okay, extremely wealthy. However, despite her parents' upbringing, training her to recognize their superiority over the other less-fortunate beings in their stuck-up world and hammering into her head that no one was trustworthy except family, that when worse comes to worst, only family would be left to stand by each other, she honestly did wanted to believe otherwise.

But she wasn't used to asking people for help, much less asking them to like her. Her mother would have scoffed at her for the mere thought of such a silly idea. Much as she wished to join in cliques' group bonding and incessant rumor sharing, her pride got in the way. Behind her masked confidence and self-sufficiency, she also had her share of insecurities and uncertainties. She was after all, going through the adjustment phase like all the other teenagers who were desperately trying to maintain their constantly fluctuating hormone equilibrium.

Along with all the other girls in her school, she of course, had a huge crush on the handsome Danjuro.

She wondered if the most popular, sought-after Senior in the school was actually talking to her or was the late night studying making her hallucinate, creating a mirage in broad daylight? She wanted to pinch herself, but caught herself just in time, retaining her cold facial expression and without uttering a word, squinted at him skeptically.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asked. Every word was dripping with honey-like sweetness, as he brushed his fingers through his golden hair. He exuded an aura of confidence and almost-godlike perfection. The way he carried the conversation with ease was contagious. Was it his undeniably strong sex appeal or that musky cologne he wears? She couldn't exactly put her finger on it, but she felt her lifelong-built walls of defense crumbling one by one into fine powder then.

She had nodded a yes. He smiled widely, pumping his fist in the air as a sign of victory.

At this, she just couldn't help but secretly smile back.

It was the very beginning of an episode in her life that she would change her forever.

Slowly, Danjuro helped Kaede out of her shell. He had opened her eyes to the magnificence of life, how special it would be to be shared with someone else. He had made her realize that beatiful things need not be expensive or bought, for that matter. He showed her the real world, not the hopelessly rotting hell her parents had created in her head.

In a month's time, Kaede and Danjuro had officially become a couple. She was the envy of every girl in school, for Danjuro was everyone's dream guy. But he was hers, he promised her that. It was all she ever wanted. For once, she didn't feel like the rich, straight A-student, detested outcast that she was. For the first time, she felt accepted, and loved.

She was going to surprise Danjuro by cooking a batch of fudge caramel brownies and his favorite chocolate crinkles. She had never even bothered entering the kitchen before, but for him, she spent the week baking, burning food and baking again. It wasn't easy and their French chef had been extra-patient even when you could have almost traced the smoke coming out of his ears and almost heard him muttering profanities in their language.

But she persevered through that experience with valuable lessons in tow. Baking soda and baking powder and two very different things with the same first name. When the recipe says 450 Celsius, it does not mean the same as 450 Fahrenheit. Salt and sugar do look alike but their tastes contrast greatly. Last and most important of all, never pull out a tray of freshly baked, extremely hot fudge brownies with your bare hands when you have forgotten to wear the mittens because of sheer excitement. All these end in disaster.

In the spur of the moment, she had also written him a poem (even with recently burnt fingers). She was never good with speaking and she was too shy to express it. So she decided to tell him in the best way she knew how. Poetry. Yes, it was a talent she never showed anyone, even when she had already collected quite a lot of it in journals. They fall into countless categories of almost everything under the sun. But her favorites were, of course, about the fantasy of falling in love.

_One Smile_

_Smile like you used to smile before._

_Smile and I won't say anything more._

_It's your smile that wipes away my tears._

_Your smile that makes my fears disappear._

_Smile and my knees instantly give way._

_Just smile and hear me softly say—_

_It's your smile that makes my day._

_Your smile that takes my doubts away._

_Your smile that broke through the walls._

_It's your smile, just one smile that said it all._

By the end of the week, she had made rock cookies, watery brownies, slimy whatchamacallits and black little things she couldn't even name before she managed to produce a decent batch. She had fallen on her homework and hadn't even started on all her term papers. But it was all going to be worth it. She figured, just the look of Danjuro's face as he opens her surprise would be enough to award her for all her hard effort.

It was, after all, their first month-sary.

Upon arriving at the neighborhood where the paper in her hand indicated, she rolled down the window of her chauffeur driven limousine and observed the surroundings. She looked around to look for any signs that might inform them of where they were. She read and reread the paper containing the address from the school records she had managed to snuck into just to get Danjuro's residence. But she wasn't lost, just mistaken. Artifice Avenue was every bit a slum ghetto as she thought it was a posh neighborhood.

Gathering all her courage, she walked down the street. Trash littered the sidewalks. Houses were in shambles. People were staring. She wondered what would it feel like to actually live in a place like this. Her world and his were like heaven and earth. She wondered how he would adjust to the lifestyles of the rich...or worse, how would she have to adjust to his? She shuddered inside.

Questions now darted in and out of her head, confusing her. Her mind opposed, but her heart stubbornly persisted. She decided that she didn't love Danjuro for his riches, or his car. (Though now that she thinks about it, she never did see him driving a car.) However, the thoughts of his voice as he whispered sweet nothings, the vision of his perfect smile, and the reminder of his brief warm kisses underneath the cherry trees in the park erased all of her uncertainties.

She loved him, and that was all that mattered.

And then again...

Maybe Not.


	3. Achilles' Heel

**Author's Notes:** Thank you notes are at the bottom. I really appreciate everyone's comments.

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past**

**Achilles' Heel**

"Danjuro, you're a sly fox," a voice said between continuous giggles. Fear struck her heart. It was distinctly female.

Kaede was about to knock on the door with peeling paint of appallingly moss-like shade of green when she heard voices floating from the backside of the house. Filled with that sense of foreboding, she stalked around the house in swift strides. But she was never prepared to the scene that unfolded before her.

A girl, clad in a micro-mini leather skirt and a fuschia pink tube, was sitting, almost lying, on top of Danjuro as he sat on the unkempt grass-strewn ground. Danjuro laughed as a girl with flaming red hair bit his ear and whispered only God-knows-what. He kissed her passionately in return, her arms around his neck, his arms encircling her tiny waist, her legs planting themselves atop of his own.

Kaede felt heat rise up her face, blinding her with a myriad of emotions. Anger, humiliation, disgust...smoldering pain. She couldn't believe it at first. It couldn't be. Her Danjuro, hers...had been lying all this time. All his promises were nothing but empty words. The kisses were merely short dosages to a sex narcotic like him, to momentarily satisfy his own lustful desires.

She turned around to walk away, wanting to go and salvage her wounds in private. Just as she was about to leave, she remembered the box of goodies she had slaved over the week still clutched tightly in her hand. She dropped it in the large bin outside his house before leaving that god-forsaken neighborhood. It belonged in the dump. Yes, the brownies, the poem, the time, the effort, the love—all wasted.

As soon as she slammed the door of her room, Kaede broke down in sobs. She knew how it felt like to be hurt, to be disappointed, but she never knew the feeling of a loved one's betrayal. It felt like pain was eating you from within, wrecking everything you ever believed in, robbing you of all you ever dreamed of.

After crying her eyes out, she was on the verge of exhaustion. Only then did slumber look ever so promising, but she tossed and turned in bed, hours after her head first touched the pillow. She wanted to seek refuge in a deep, dreamless sleep, but it didn't come to her. Instead, the scenes she had seen, and wished she hadn't, kept playing over and over in her head. She kept remembering all that he had told her, all that he had promised and all that she had hoped for.

They were all lies.

As if she had not been devastated enough and thought that it was impossible for things to get any worse, the next day at school proved her assumptions wrong. Everyone was quoting her poem. Everyone was laughing at her. Everyone made her feel like an idiot for believing that someone would actually fall in love with her.

"Danjuro, it was your smile, your smile that makes my fears disappear. Oh Danjuro," a mousey girl taunted her in a voice of fake adoration as she walked past her on the hallway.

"Kaede, did you ever think that he really did love you? I mean, hello? Have you looked in the mirror lately?" her companion called out with a sneer. She was ruthless as well.

Kaede wanted to wipe that sneer off her face right that very instant, but thought it wise not to stoop down their level. And the two girls walked on by, laughing malevolently down the hall.

It seemed that every student had gotten news of what happened to her. Everyone was giving her knowing glances, and every once in a while a person would leer at her. The brash words burned through her ears, down to her heart, chipping her already battered armor piece by piece. It was taking all her self-control just to get through this day without ripping somebody apart. Her patience was wearing thin, but the day was far from over.

As soon as she had stepped foot in the cafeteria, everyone hushed. Everyone, except Danjuro. He even had the nerve to walk up to her, as if to rub in the fact that he had gotten her fooled.

"Hey Baby, what was it about my smile again?" he asked loudly for everyone to hear, smiling widely in the process and looking at his grinning bunch of pathetic cronies for approval.

"Damn You." The words gritted her teeth as they rasped out in a mere whisper.

"Was it about my perfect teeth?" he fished out for a compliment, totally unconscious of the deadly tone in her voice.

"Oh no, your teeth are perfect." Her voice was coated with sarcasm.

"But I think I forgot to add a line in the poem about your breath." Kaede managed to keep a poker face, with only her eyes betraying true anguish and spite as she added, "Remember that last kiss? Your breath actually revealed what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner the previous day."

His smile faded.

Kaede almost laughed in triumph... Almost.

"You're actually lucky. I had to be _paid_ just to kiss a disgusting thing like you. I think my lips are traumatized for life." The word paid, rang in her ears, taking another powerful blow on her already damaged pride. The room erupted in laughter. Everyone was in on the joke.

And the joke was on her.

She could feel the tears welling in her eyes; the heat of anger speedily coursing in her veins. Ironically, though she felt so awakened inside, her body felt helplessly frail, her only wish was to escape from the sounds of their mockery. She had wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. She turned around to walk out, but before she could take another step...

"Sorry, Kaede, I needed the money." That wasn't even an apology. He called out, "But I believe it wasn't all a waste. You had fun, didn't you?" His lips curved into a knowing smile.

SLAP!

The audible sound hung in the air, cutting the celebration short.

The room went abruptly silent as the spectators, now watching Kaede and Danjuro, who had a hand on his cheek, holding the place where Kaede's hand had made contact, intently anticipated the next move. It all seemed just like an entertaining show to them. Oh, how she had wanted to make them join the cast.

Somehow, her legs managed to carry her out of the cafeteria, with head held high, eyes blinking back hot heavy tears, and dignity entirely intact.

Kaede fumed. It was all a bet. It was all a game. They put a wager on her, the high and mighty Kaede. It was a seemingly impossible task of making her fall, of finding a chink in her armor, yet, they succeeded. They had found her Achilles' heel.

As the doors swung close, she could feel the overwhelming emotions threatening to sweep her away, so strong that she feared her chest would burst. But she kept control. They have ridiculed and humiliated her enough already; she wasn't going to give them the pleasure of watching her crack.

They had broken her once. It was not going to happen again. From that moment on, a vow was made. Never again will Kaede cry over another man.

Her heart clenched at the mere memory of the torture she went through. Highschool was a living hell. The images were clear as if it just happened a week ago. She could feel the blood pulsing, pumping, constricting her veins, throbbing in her head. The wounds were two decades old and yet, they felt strangely fresh, as if they've just been carved into her flesh to remind her of her youthful ignorance and the price she had to pay.

Slowly, she sunk back to almost oblivion, allowing these reminders to carry her to the disturbing paths of yesterday.

She wanted, needed to be reminded of what made her who she is today.

* * *

****

**Jennifer Wand:** WOW. What an honor to receive a review from you! I have heard so much from the "older" fans of HYD. The conversation went like:

Me: Any fanfic recommendations?

Ü: Search for Jennifer Wand's fics.

Me: Who's Jennifer Wand?

Ü: YOU DON'T KNOW JENNIFER WAND?! SHE'S ONLY THE 'QUEEN' OF HYD FANDOM!

Me: Ooohhh! (Embarassed now.)

**windsoffortune:** WOW. Thank you for your support. I really really really appreciate it! hugs Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff! YOUR REVIEWS SURE DO BRIGHTEN MY DAY! Hehehe... LOL!

**Ruth: **Yeah. I'm such a doofus. Hope you continue reading this! I'll be updating the erased chaps once again!

**cuppajava: **blushes Hehehehe! You flatter me too much! I hope I don't fail your expectations! Thanks for reviewing!

**entree:** Yup. I have a copy...but sniff all the reviews are gone! I wanted to keep the reviews coz I read them just to see if I could improve on one part or another. sigh

**Buzz: **Thank you sooo much for continuously reading and reviewing! Your reviews make me smile...

**Ruifan: **Hiya! New reader! Yay! Yippeeyayay!!! Please keep on reading my fics!

**anonymous: **Glad you feel that way! Thanks for dropping me a line! Good day!

**jestina:** Yes...I know I will. Thanks for the encouragement. I needed that. So, for all that, here's the next chap!!!


	4. After Metamorphosis

**Author's Notes**: I'm glad that all of you appreciate the effort I've been putting on this particular story. Thank you for all the compliments. Enjoy!

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

  
**After Metamorphosis**

Ten years later, she had become an accomplished businesswoman. She had shed off and forgotten about the shy and insecure crusty shell she once found so secure and safe. She now walks with complete confidence, back straight and head high. She learned to rely on no one else but herself. She discovered her exceptional capabilities and that with pure willpower and sheer determination; no obstacle was going to hinder her from her goals.

She graduated on top of her class, receiving numerous plaques of recognition upon graduation (though she only received a polite applause from her peers and the loudest were from the teachers who instantly recognize a genius when they see one). The largest corporations vied for the opportunity to have her working for them, offering the highest positions and the fattest salaries. However, Kaede turned them all down. She had big plans of her own.

In a few years' time, their corporation, already renowned throughout the country, branched out all over the world. She also invested in other fields of businesses, everything from food manufacturing to automobile assembly. She took the business world by a storm. She became the youngest female billionaire. They were literally raking the money in with the profits her investments reaped. She was a business miracle.

Nagasaki Kaede. Twenty-three and already a legend.

She would've snorted at how they were making a big fuss out of her. The ones who looked down at her now kissed up to her. "How could I be of any assistance? Coffee, juice, tea...uhh, beer?" The ones who mocked her now have to beg for her forgiveness. "Oh, of course I didn't mean it when I said that horses looked better than you. (nervous laughter) I was just a girl then, naïve and stupid and an idiot and...Sorry?" The ones who stepped on her ego now ceaselessly shower her with flattery. "Why, it seems you're looking younger and younger everyday. What's your secret? I can't believe that you're already twenty-three! You're like a medical miracle! You don't look a day older than sixteen." (Toinks rolls her eyes)

Pretentious little devils. If she didn't know better, she would've fallen prey into their snares again.

But she was smarter. Hell, she was smarter than anyone she knew.

That had even been understatement.

Her daily routine went pretty much like this: Wake up. Take a Bath. Eat breakfast. Go to Work. Go home from work. Eat something, anything. Sleep. It was like she had a built-in organizer and alarm clock that woke her up every morning at the exact same time even when she barely slept a wink the night before.

Life was pretty exciting...not.

Kaede had transformed into a mechanical life form. Fun and relaxation were consecutively removed from her vocabulary. Every minute of her day was spent in supervising the operations in the corporation, going through a large pile of paperwork, scolding, firing, and in some cases, even traumatizing, delinquent employees and then venturing out to appointments with other business conglomerates about possible future mergers or transactions. Busy as she was, the years went by in a flash.

Soon, she found herself twenty-seven and still very single. She began to see how the society measured her. She was nearing her thirties and she was as close to a marriage engagement as the North is to the South Pole. She had no social life, unless you consider those cocktail parties where you're surrounded by fifty-something balding or already bald males who would've loved to spend the night with a young woman like her and nosey wives who only live to spend money, gossip, backstab and cheat behind their husbands' backs. Meetings, yes, she always had to rush from one meeting from the other. But though she would love to deny it, her meetings consisted only of formalities and business discussions.

"No man is an island" is a dim-witted pathetic justification of a person's constant need for reliance. Whoever made that must have not known the meaning of independence.

She was a woman of the world. She had both her feet firmly and securely planted on solid, not to mention, sky-scraping ground that people would have to look way up just to catch a glimpse of her.

All she needed was her caffeine boosters and she could handle anything by herself.

Yup, just herself.

Friends? Who needs them? She had no time for friends.

It was what she believed in.

Or rather what she forced herself to believe.

Though some of her usual colleagues did ask her about her life once in a while, she easily recognized the glint in their eyes as either curiosity and eagerness to share a piece of gossip (perhaps even sell the information to the press) or that it was the glow of money they hoped to have a taste of from just rubbing shoulders with her. Their sincerity was about as true, as authentic as an aluminum-plated ring. Did they think that she woke up one morning and discovered that money had miraculously sprouted on her?

Money. Money. Money.

Money made the world go round and still does.

It was all they ever wanted. And right then, it was all she needed.

She was truly a complex conundrum waiting to be solved. Something about a traumatic childhood, growing up too fast or she was just born without feelings, the tittle-tattles speculated. Everyone couldn't quite figure out why a lovely young woman like her could be so tough, so...frighteningly cold.

But fact of the matter was she's scared to death. She was terrified of opening up, of taking the big risk of trusting again. The last she remembered, she had trusted too easily and too much. She was hurt and traumatized. God knows how she had barely managed to survive that ordeal. All the essence of hope for something good in this world was simply sucked out through a black hole she now learned to call her heart.

She had actually missed the feeling of having someone special. She missed the way a person would gaze into your eyes like you were the only person in existence and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She missed the way a just the sound of a person's laughter could instantly metamorphose your knees, all skin, flesh and bones, to Jello. She missed the way she could hold and solely call another person, hers.

But she would rather die that admit it.

It was in an ordinary, but fateful day that she met him. The one person that tested her to the limit. The one guy who had managed to break through the barriers she had erected all around her. The only one who rose to the challenge.

His name is Doumyouji Hisaki.


	5. Miscalculated Impression

**Author's Notes:** I would like to hear what you think of each chapter, so I can improve on my writing. That's why detailed reviews are much, much appreciated. Thank you very much!

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past  
  
Miscalculated Impression**

Blinking as if to awake from a dream, Kaede found herself standing with her palm on the glass window, looking out at nothing in particular. It was almost too strange to be digging up her buried past. But she has her reasons for remembering.

Kaede remembers that day exactly as it has been, up to the insignificant details...as though a single day has not passed. Slowly, the images shifted together, each piece of puzzle linking onto another until they completed the memory in her head. She took a deep breath, focused, and the replay began.

It was another busy morning for the president of the Nagasaki Holdings and Company. Papers mounted on her desk, eyes quickly scanning the lines and pen scribbling furiously. There was a light knock on her door before her secretary's head poked in, her eyes blinking uncertainly. "Ma'am?" she asked, her eyes blinking rapidly behind her big frames, knowing full well that she was going to be in scalding hot water. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but—"

"I already told you to cancel any meetings I had for the afternoon, didn't I? Can't you see I'm busy?" she asked rhetorically, gesturing at the mountainous piles of paperwork neatly stacked on her desk and glaring at the petite woman who seemed to have shrunk another few inches smaller over the last few seconds.

"But there's a man outside who--" The secretary was unable to complete the sentence.

Kaede was about to say "deal with it" when the door flew open, revealing a tall, curly-haired man dressed in a crisp black suit standing behind her secretary who suddenly looked like she was going to faint.

Kaede's eyes locked with the man's intense ones. For what seemed like minutes but were actually a fraction of a second, they remained in contact, eyes that tried to read each other, until Kaede broke the stare, looking up once again only with the same hard, impassive mask she always wore. She had felt her heart flutter, like she wanted to dissolve under his stare and yet she stopped all the thoughts that filled her head even before she could dwell on them. She had been well-trained over the years.

"You have no right to burst in here just like this," she said in an icy tone that intimidated most of the people and sent them scampering for dear life.

But the man wasn't like most of the people.

He merely smiled at her, his eyes like black opals twinkled before her; the scowl on his face just moments ago vanished into thin air.

"If you are not going to leave, I will have to call security," she said rather quickly, looking down to hide the faint blush that was creeping up her face. The man's dazzling smile had left her totally at a lost for a sharp remark and she had found herself suddenly confused and uncertain.

But before she could finish punching in the numbers of the security personnel, a hand wrapped around hers, surprising her. She looked up only to find herself face to face with the man. (He was one of the most gorgeous men she had ever laid eyes on.) Apparently, the secretary, in order to avoid the impending crossfire, had darted off as soon as she could, leaving only the two of them behind.

_How dare he..._ She was about to blow a fuse. No one dared stop her before, and he was on her territory. _Damn it_, she thought, hastily pulling away her hand from under his. When she had composed herself, hiding the reactions he had invoked in her, she looked up only to find him smiling at her.

It was a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin.

She felt insulted. What was so darn funny? "What are you laughing at?"

"You." He simply stated. He sat across her, crossing his leg and leaning back comfortably.

_Fine_, she thought. _If you want to play,_ _I'm game._ She wasn't about to let him gain the upper hand. If he had no plans of leaving, then she decided to entertain him. She took on a much calmer expression.

"So, what actually brings you to my office?" she asked nonchalantly with hands clasped together, looking like an subservient receptionist, completely ignoring the man's eyebrow that suddenly shot up.

She was on familiar grounds now.

She wanted to cackle loudly, but had to content herself in laughing inside.

She wasn't going to let him get away for making fun of her.

One afternoon was all it took. She thought she had him like a stringed puppet under her skilled manipulative hands. But once again, she had underestimated him. If anyone had the guts and the talent to contest hers, it was he. She had met her match.

It turned out he was already working as a business analyst for the corporations for the last two years and have greatly contributed to the increases in their sales. But he was tired of being pushed around doing all the work and receiving minimal credit for his brilliant ideas. He decided to talk to the big boss herself. Hence, their untimely meeting...that turned out to be in perfect timing after all.

"Well, you see what difference it makes even with just a slight change in outdoor operations? Every little cent wasted is a loss for the company..." He had been speaking for the last hour, explaining new concepts in marketing strategies. On the other hand, she had been listening intently, amused, surprisingly interested and slightly impressed at his intelligence, which was to say already a big thing since she hardly ever got impressed anymore. And she probably need not mention that his exceptionally good looks had made her feel like an infatuated teenager again. But she had no intention of letting him know just that.

"What about manpower then? If, if I had agreed to opening another branch like you suggest, wouldn't it just be another accretion to my expenditures, not to mention the risk it involves?" She challenged his ideas, interrupting every once in a while, wondering how he would retaliate. She loved stumping other people and watching them lose all confidence and squirm in her presence.

"Ah, but that's something that the _adminstration_ had overlooked," he said with a sparkle in his deep eyes. "If only we place the operators in key positions thus minimizing the need for manpower, we could at least come out with more or less a surplus of sixty men. These men shall then be reassigned to outdoor operations. For this reason, you now have a new branch and yet maintain the same number of people on the paylist." He smiled one-sidedly.

Smart Ass.

It was now her turn to squirm.

She didn't know if it was the remarkably smart answer or his commanding presence. He was approximately just six inches from her. Had she felt him coming closer, she would've moved or done something, but now it's too late. He had both hands on her desk and his face boring down fixedly on her. She was cornered...trapped, in her own game. She didn't know what to say.

Unbelievable.

Now, she could say she really was impressed.

"So what about continuing our discussion over a steaming cup of coffee?"

What started out as a heated argument ended in an afternoon coffee break...somewhere far, far away from the non-stop bustle of the office.

"Mr. Doumyouji, I don't usually do this..." Kaede started.

"Hisaki, please. You mean, date your employees?" he insinuated. (AN: Did I mention he was a smart ass?)

"Damn it. Will you let me finish?" She said crankily, trying to hide the crimson blush creeping up her face and failing miserably.

He nodded, stifling a chuckle at how fidgety she looked at that moment. Here was a woman totally different from the stiff, indomitable President Nagasaki he had met just hours ago. This just proves that first impressions aren't always right.

"I was going to say_, before I was rudely interrupted_, is that I don't usually do promotions just after one meeting. But I have to admit that you've caught my interest with your creative ideas and so tomorrow, you are the newest junior executive in the Nagasaki Holdings and Co." There. He fell silent at last.

"I, I...don't know what to say," Hisaki had breathed out after a few seconds.

"A simple 'I accept it' would be a good way to go," she said, sipping her cup of tea delicately. She was trying hard not to shake under his watchful eye. She hadn't been this "friendly" with anyone before. Definitely not with a man, or a very handsome gentleman at that. If truth was told, she was scaring even herself.

One thing led to another. (No, not what you're thinking. Not yet anyway.)

Soon enough, Hisaki had climbed up the corporate ladder and was second only to Kaede herself. His beat-up convertible had been traded in for the latest BMW. His cramped little apartment abandoned for a high-class condominium. Hisaki had become "The Marketing Genius." His handsome face had been plastered in all the business magazines and frequented the business section of newspapers. In other words, he was RICH and FAMOUS.

Vice President Doumyouji. New Title. New car. New home. New image. New life.

New...wife?


	6. Heaven's Gate

**Author's Notes:** This is one of the most romantic chapters I've ever written so far. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

Heaven's Gate

The business magnate stared into the darkened skies overhead, wondering what had happened to her life. She used to be happy, somehow, even in the little stuff in life that were for free. She used to wake up looking forward to another sunny morning, smelling the scent of sweet morning dew drifting into her room from the flowers in their garden. She used to come home, tired yet satisfied and see the bed as a comfortable resting place, a time traveling machine to her dreams, not the mattress she now had to collapse in after a day of strenuous work.

She could not put a finger on it. Her memories were jarred and hazy. Perhaps she had forgotten? Perhaps she could still change? Perhaps all is not lost?

Kaede was looking for the answers...in the past.

_Calm black skies, cloudless and bleak _

_Looking for the company I too seek _

_Emptiness blanket the empty space_

_Dim desolation mirrored in my face_

_Mocking voices rise from memory's hole _

_Scars of agony etched forever in my soul_

_Wishing for warmth down deep inside_

_To remove the cold that there still hides_

_Memories harking back to ages past_

_Stir inside the hardened stone cast_

It was a calm starry night; the black skies were embellished with countless stars that twinkled gaily as if to dance to a symphony of music only they could hear. There was a certain scent, a particular taste in the air that added to the night's romantic ambience.

Doumyouji Hisaki had brought Kaede to "Heaven's Gate," the newest fine-dining restaurant in town. As they drove to the location near the sea, she had a grand tour of the infamous estate. It was breath taking. The gates were brandished with delicately twined, shiny, black iron rods tipped with sharp, golden spires. The trees surrounding the building were draped with lines and lines of miniscule colored bulbs looking like thousands of flickering fireflies settled on the heavy branches. There were marble figurines, elegant and exquisite; the fine details carved with feather-light touches to make them appear like they were alive, polished, enchanted beings, leading the way to the very entrance of "Heaven."

Kaede was still gaping at the wonderful infrastructures when the he valet opened the door for her. She inhaled the salty smell in the air, bathing in the inherent glory of nature. She looked up and gasped at the sight of a chateau. It was the most beautiful she had ever seen. The white stone of which it was made from shone in the moonlight despite its obvious age, creating a mystified glow around it. More details were incised onto the façade; roses, entwining vines and angels were among the most awe-inspiring carvings adorning the pillars, alluring each wanderer to enter in its majestic hall.

Absorbing it all in, Kaede took all the images and jotted them down accurately in her memory. She snapped out of it only by a familiar hand wrapping around hers.

"Kaede, let's go inside," Hisaki ushered her in, taking her lightly by the elbow.

The passed through pathways filled with expensive portraits of magnificent sunsets and landscapes, majestic lords and their families, most of which dated back to the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. The place couldn't have been more authentic-looking than this one. The owners had done wonders to preserve and maintain the quality of things. She could actually imagine herself in an old English ball gown with a corset and Hisaki in a white wig tied back in a ponytail that the gentlemen used to wear in older times. Kaede couldn't keep herself from smiling.

She had a feeling something special was about to happen that night.

Hisaki pulled the chair for her and she sat down. She caught her breath as he sat across her, his smile reflected by the faint glow of the candles. He was wearing an Armani suit, raven black and crease-free. He looked gorgeous, like a prince leaving the very pages of a fairytale. Kaede couldn't keep a straight face like she usually did. Everything just seemed too good to be true.

The maitre d' took their orders and left them by themselves. Light, sweet music was flowing from the quartet on the slightly elevated stage in front. She could feel herself falling even deeper as he took one of her hands and gazed into her eyes. The pair of intense, brown orbs never failed to make her nervous, bringing along a horde of elephants rampaging on her insides.

It was as if everything was in slow motion. Kaede's senses were fully aware of their surroundings...but it felt like they were the only two persons in existence.

"Kaede, I love you," he said, not breaking eye contact for a single moment, taking her hand to his lips. His breath felt hot on her skin, spreading warmth from the site of contact and then all throughout her body.

"I love you too," she replied with the gentlest voice as if whispering to the wind. But he got her answer and it pleased him no end. She was floating somewhere in cloud nine, lost in outer space or wherever paradise she was in. She was running, floating, soaring in the clouds with all the cuddly curly-haired cupids. It was the happiest moment of her life.

She had found happiness...when she found him.

After finishing the courses they ordered, they sat back, sipping red wine and just watching each other in the faint light as they waited for dessert. As the wind moved strands of ebony hair onto her face, some of them half-hiding her eyes, he watched her lovingly, carefully, adoringly. He felt as though he could just stare at her all night, or even for nights thereafter, for he would never grow weary of looking at the most precious treasure in his life.

She could feel his eyes following her every move, every batting of her eyelashes, every twitch of her red lips. It was almost too embarrassing to have herself under such scrutiny, but she couldn't help but admit that she was enjoying every single second of it. It wasn't everyday that a man worshipped you as if you were Aphrodite, goddess of beauty. And Hisaki was god-like to begin with.

The wine had been soothing her tensed muscles as it flowed richly from her mouth, savoring the taste, the aroma, and down to her throat. Kaede could feel herself relaxing more by the moment. She soon found herself being lulled to dreamland by a familiar melody. She closed her eyes, drifting with the light, beautiful notes and then finally opening her eyes as it dawned on her.

'_Thank God I found you..._

_I was lost without you._

_My every wish and every dream somehow became reality_

_When you brought the sunlight, completing my whole life_

_I'm overwhelmed with gratitude,_

_My baby, I'm so thankful I found you..._'

She found herself face to face with her prince charming. Smiling at her, he knew full well that it was their song. With that, he walked to her side, took one of her hands and knelt in front of her. Armani, Ferragamo, Boss and all.

"What are you doing?" Kaede whispered, suddenly aware of the stares they were eliciting from the people who were intrigued by his sudden display.

"Showing the whole world just how thankful I am that I found you, that I met you and now that I have you."

Hisaki dug into his coat pocket and fished out a maroon velvet box. "I know we've only known each other for barely half a year. But if you'll let me...Kaede, I want to love you for the rest of my life." He flipped it open, revealing a sparkling diamond set in the center of a platinum ring encircled with other smaller, encrusted diamonds.

"Will you marry me?" He dropped the bomb.

And she felt herself explode.

Kaede was speechless for seconds as she stared dumbfounded at the wonderful man kneeling in front of her wearing his best suit and his best smile. Kaede held her breath, afraid that the slightest movement would dissolve and wreck such a lovely dream into nothing but another wistful fantasy of hers. Was she hearing it right? Did he just ask for her hand in marriage? Hisaki, was asking her to be his...for life? That fraction of a second felt like time had suddenly stopped.

Shaking herself of those distracting thoughts, Kaede finally managed to answer.

"Yes. I will marry you..."

Hisaki took the ring from the box and was about to place it on her finger when she pulled back her hand and added, "Only if, you'll let me love you for the rest of mine."

"Deal."

Hisaki nodded, genuinely smiling as he slid the ring on her slender finger. Like winning the most desired trophy, Hisaki stood up and took Kaede in his arms. Kaede felt weak. She felt like she was about to faint from the heavy emotions filling up her head. She felt his arms supporting her as her knees completely gave way. She felt herself his eyes reading into her soul as he gazed down lovingly at her.

They stared deeply into each other's eyes, like lovers nervous for a first kiss, and slowly, as they felt their own slow breaths exchanging, their lips melted in a passionate kiss.

Kaede knew, as she gave in to her heady senses, that in this mortal world, that it was by far the nearest she could get to reaching "heaven's gate."

* * *

**PS:** The song there is from Mariah Carey & 98 Degrees' collaboration of "Thank God I Found You."


	7. Gut Feeling

**Author's Notes: **I'm glad I could still update despite the really depressing shortage of brain fluids in our area. I swear, I thought I was about to just drop this story coz I had opened the file so many times this past week and tried to add something, anything, but came up short of nothing but a whisk of air. Thank God I had managed to get through that awful writer's block! Why must I have to still be awake at 4 in the morning just to get something out of my head? Sheesh. My eyes are already drooping and yet it is only now that I had squeezed out some creative juices.

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

**Gut Feeling**

Kaede twirled before the wide brass-framed mirror, her face illuminated by a genuinely beautiful smile. She had never felt this happy before...

It was barely a year ago that she had met the man of her dreams. Now, she was about to marry him. It was like a fairytale come true. He was kind, intelligent, and charming. He had a way to make her feel so special, like she was the only woman in this world. All her crushed hopes in love were rebuilt by this man, her husband-to-be.

Drifting somewhere in a dream-like state, Kaede could hardly contain all the happiness inside of her. It was a day that she had dreamt as a young child. Now everything was falling perfectly into place.

She remembered how she dressed her dolls in white gowns and frocks, how she would cover their faces with sheer cloths and how she would imagine a handsome groom waiting for the bride in the church. She would be dressed in an immaculately beautiful gown with a veil that would stretch from the back to the front of the church aisle. On the other hand, he would be neatly combed, clean-shaven, standing straight in his tuxedo with a pinned rose near his heart and patiently waiting for his wife to be. It was her favorite scene in every romantic movie.

She could imagine herself now, in her white strapless gown that could almost beam in its spotlessness. She gently touched the white almost fluid fabric, feeling its smooth texture underneath her fingertips only to be obstructed by beads. Swarovski crystals and light colored gems adorned the top trimming of her dress and then was scattered from the waist down in a carefree manner. She smiled at her reflection, like the bride she had always dreamed to be.

"Miss, are you finished?" The accented voice accompanied by a rapping on the wood by the foreign seamstress sounded behind the door, snapping her from her thoughts.

"Nearly," she said, twirling around once more in her ballooning gown before opening the door for the seamstress to make any final adjustments. Just three weeks from now, Ms. Kaede Nagasaki was to become Mrs. Doumyouji. Ah, how she basked in the sheer pleasure of the sound of it.

Almost whistling in giddiness, she opened the door to let the old woman enter. The woman had graying hair, more white than black actually. She wore thick glasses that she kept hanging around her neck with thin silver chains, magnifying her eyes to three times as large. And with frail, veined legs, she walked ever so slowly, but on the contrary, her gnarled fingers that looked to have been suffering from years of arthritis were fast and adept, quickly going to work on the expensive, exquisite and extravagant dress. Oddly though, she kept clucking her tongue, shaking her head as she worked.

"What's wrong?" Kaede could not help but worry that something might be wrong from her dress. She of course wanted to look like the most beautiful woman on earth on her wedding day, which is why she didn't even question the price of the gown as she had it sketched and tailored by the most famous designer in Italy. The dress was delivered just this morning and it looked extremely magnificent. But being the perfectionist that she is, she had wanted to make sure every bead and every stitch was in place.

"The bride should not wear the gown before her wedding day. It brings bad luck," the woman stated, not looking away from her work.

Kaede sighed. Of course this woman was traditional, still bound by those superstitious beliefs. She couldn't help but smile and release a breath of relief, glad that it wasn't because her dress might've been found with a rip or a missing button or something just horrible.

"Do not laugh, Miss Nagasaki." The old woman, although was clearly past retirement age, apparently still had a sharp sense of hearing. "Events, call it unnatural coincidences if you wish, have happened in the past that best not be mentioned anymore."

There was something just eerie as the old woman's heavy accented voice said it that sent shivers up and down Kaede's spine. It was as if she had heard it from some ancient, kooky, medicine woman in a faraway tribal ceremony in the middle of a dense rainforest somewhere in an unmapped desert island. Weird. She shook herself of the thoughts. Nobody believed those superstitious crap anymore, so why should she? She was after all a woman of the millennium. She didn't need to follow the old rules set by the society long ago. If she didn't believe it, it couldn't happen to her. She was comforted by her words, but it proved to only be temporary as the woman spoke again.

"Take caution," was the old woman's last words before she left the room so that bride to be could undress in private. Kaede shivered once again as if a cold breeze just blew right past her, but thought nothing of it. It must've just been the air conditioner that she had felt as she exposed her bare back while peeling the gown off. But as she walked out of the boutique, she couldn't quite explain that sudden heavy feeling at the pit of her stomach.

The afternoon went by quickly as she finished up more paperwork for that new merger with an automobile exchange. There were plenty of little clauses in the thirty-paged contract that had to be noted and straightened out by the next day, but for once, the temperamental president wasn't screaming at all. In fact, Kaede had been smiling the whole time.

This phenomenon that made all the employees wonder if that day might have been a miracle could simply be explained with the reason that Kaede was going out with Hisaki that evening to meet his family. She was anxious of course, but made confident by Hisaki's assurance that his family would definitely love such a beautiful, intelligent and well-mannered young woman. It was Hisaki who made Kaede feel so secure that nothing could ever shake her picture-perfect world.

Soon, it was already five o' clock. Time to go home from work. Kaede's cellphone started vibrating and ringing in her handbag. She fished it out from her bag and was pleased to see Hisaki's name and number flashing on the lighted screen. He probably wanted to remind her of their date this evening, (as if she would forget when it was the only thing in her mind all afternoon) or perhaps wanted to go out for coffee first.

But the smile was quickly wiped off her face as she cupped her mouth with one hand before going weak in the knees and falling back down to sit limply on her chair.

"I'm sorry ma'am... There was nothing more we could do."

* * *

**THANK YOOOOU TO ALL REVIEWERS!!!**

**Madame Toinks foretells**: I see that the future holds more angst and pain and grief rather than these mushy ones. I want to know just what you think...and more reviews _really_ work to help alleviate a mental block. So, **PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!!! Click on that lefthand bottom button! **Thanks! Hehehe!!!


	8. Tragedy Strikes

**Author's Notes:** A lot of drama and angst up ahead. Like real life, just when everything seems too perfect, tragedy strikes.

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past**

**Tragedy Strikes**

Kaede had to pause for a while, breaking a gap in her musings as she felt a hot surge of emotions flow inside her. It was as if she had been there just now, had just listened to a policeman say that Doumyouji Hisaki, as the wallet and ID's confirmed, Japanese, male, 5'11", twenty-eight years old, has been found dead inside his car. It was a terrible nightmare she wished she could wake up from.

God, how she wished she had never answered the phone.

She had been devastated, shocked beyond her wildest expectations. At first, she had stepped into denial, wanting to know if it was a mean joke being played on her. Perhaps, Hisaki had lost his phone and some asshole was trying to scare the wits out of her. Or perhaps, he was held up in some dark alley, his car and wallet taken by force. Then, through some freak accident, the robber was found dead in the car with no identification except for the wallet thus was mistaken as Hisaki. It was all a mistake. It couldn't be happening. It was too ridiculous, too surreal. Doubting Kaede had called up everyone, everyone in his office and everyone at his condo unit. But no one knew where Hisaki had gone after he went out for lunch.

And he hadn't been back since.

There was a heavy gut feeling in her stomach, something most would call a woman's intuition. But she didn't acknowledge it; she just refused to. Kaede had decided to see for herself.

Calling the number back, she asked with a calm voice, guising the panic rising within her, where the site of the accident was. Then, she rushed off from the office, grabbed her things and ordered the cowering chauffeur to step on it. She didn't know whether the car or her heartbreat was racing faster. Upon arrival, there was already a growing crowd of curious onlookers in addition to the mass of paramedics, traffic aides and policemen.

She felt as though she was one of those going to be tested for a venereal disease and waiting for the possibilities of getting one of those incurable syndromes. Her heart was pounding, her mind was swirling and yet she managed to squeeze her body into the middle of the crowd and quickly pushed and squirmed her way to the front.

'Oh God' was the only thing she had managed to say as she saw the barely recognizable ruined wreck of the newest BMW model Hisaki bought just a month ago. It was crushed with most of the doors on the left side caved in. The car looked like it had went through a trash compactor, a very large and powerful compactor that tried to press it into a metal cube. Then, like a bulb lighting up in the midst of all the chaotic darkness, she remembered her purpose. The man, the victim. She has to see him.

She quickly went under the yellow tapes that secured the area and ran off to the ambulance nearby before anyone could've spotted her.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" One of the big, burly police officers stopped her before she even got more than five steps from the lines.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and said, "I, Ms. Nagasaki Kaede, am on my way to see if my _fiancé, _Doumyouji Hisaki, was indeed the one who was involved in this accident." She brushed his rogue arm that was holding her shoulder. "Would you care to explain?"

When the policeman learned of her relation to the victim and her possible "higher connections," he quickly informed her of his state when they found him, how the accident happened and where his body was taken.

"It was all a blur. A truck had lost control of its brakes and it slammed into his parked car just after he had come out of that flower store. Then, when we had him out of the car, he was rushed into the nearest hospital, just a few blocks from here," he said and added politely, "Ma'am." Even before the man could finish his last sentence, Kaede was already running back to her car and zooming off to the hospital.

_Flowers_... he had stopped by to buy flowers. If only he had went straight to her office to pick her up. If only he had stayed inside the shop for another minute. If only he had went to another flower shop. If only... he had not thought of her.

As soon as the car stopped, Kaede strode briskly into the emergency room, asking the nearest information counter for assistance. The nurse looked at her face, which must have spelled distress no matter how she covered it, and instructed her to the room at the end of the west hall. She walked with hurried steps. She must see him. Whatever happens, she must see him.

She walked straight, unnoticing the few people looking at her, and then stopped at the end of the hallway, faced with a wide double door. She took the handle of the door with a clammy hand and looked up to see the last word she had wanted to see.

Morgue.

She felt her knees buckle under the intensity of the emotions that suddenly filled her. She leaned onto the door for support and then all strength abandoned her as she slid slowly down to the floor. It must only be a nightmare, a cruel figment of her imagination. There has got be some mistake. This was not happening. Not to her. Not to Nagasaki Kaede.

Kaede closed her eyes and maybe, just maybe, when she opens them again, she would found herself in her room, under her blankets. But the hard feeling of the smooth, tiled floor didn't change and she remained stuck in reality.

Her knuckles were white and her hand trembled as she turned the cold, chrome handle. She pushed with all of her strength left just to budge the door open and entered with unsure, unsteady steps. There, she witnessed the blood and the gore she thought had only existed in horror movies. Hisaki, or at least parts of him, was not looking very Hisaki-like at all. It was only then that it fully set in, that the painful jaws of reality bit down painfully hard on her neck. Just when Kaede thought everything was perfect, fate made her all-too-perfect world come crashing down.

Kaede was silent on the long drive back home. She didn't whimper, sigh nor made any expression whatsoever, which was all the more unnaturally scary. It wasn't what the driver expected. He expected tears, bawling, screaming, hitting; not a calm and definitely not a quiet Kaede. She just sat there, looking out the window at the bypassing trucks and cars, gaudy colored billboard signs and throngs of crossing pedestrians on their busy way.

But if you looked at her eyes, you'll realize she wasn't really looking at all.

Hours later, she sat on the balcony of her room, overlooking the well-sculptured Nagasaki lawns that bathed in the steady stream of the bright full moon. She didn't quite understand the pain that racked her body. It was as if she was beaten and pounded by a hundred clubs with numerous spiked ends and flagellated by nail-ended whips and yet miraculously, obtained not even a single bruise. Or at least, not a bruise that can be seen with the naked eye. There was excruciating pain, a wrenching and twisting in her guts that no medical operation would have been able to explain.

Kaede sat there by herself, not thinking, not moving, and not speaking. She simply wasted time, sitting in stony silence like the rigid gargoyles perched on top of the Notre Dame Cathedral. She never shed a tear, not one, for her body had refused to release her emotions. It was a defensive mechanism she had built back when she had her first heartbreak and swore off crying for men. There was a building tension in her chest that pained her to hold onto, but what could she do but bear the pain? So there she sat like a statue as minutes lengthened to hours and the sun slowly rose to begin another day. It was only then that Kaede finally stood up, only to go to the bathroom and prepare for the day's work ahead.

Three days, she worked herself to the nub, hardly eating and never sleeping at all. Dark rings circled her puffy eyes from lack of sleep and yet she toiled, even much harder than before, that you'd suspect she was on a high from some drug that kept her energy going despite the obvious lack of rest. Colleagues worried about her for though she still kept that prim and proper image of her, clothes neatly pressed and not a hair out of place, she could not hide the jaded look she now wore to work. But she went through the same routine as though nothing was wrong, as though nothing had happened.

It was the absence of grief that made it all seem delusive.

It was on the fourth night that her body finally gave in to exhaustion as she collapsed on her bed. Whether she had fainted or not, even her body could not tell the difference. Her bout with sleep was over. Her body had surrendered.

The only reason she dared not sleep for nights before was because she had developed a fear of dreams. It's not that she was afraid of dreaming of the gory sight she had taken in at the hospital, his face smashed in, body twisted in all the wrong angles and limbs splayed in different directions. It was because she was scared to be reminded of their happy memories, memories where he held her, promised to marry her and love her for the rest of their lives. These were promises he can no longer fulfill.

She did not want to hold on to the happier pages of her life, though short-lived they were, lest she be given a shred hope to hung onto...

When she knew deep inside that there was nothing left to hope for.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you all for continuously supporting Echoes Of The Past! hugz 


	9. Another Blow

**Author's Notes:** As if the tragedy isn't enough, Kaede will face another challenge in this chapter. Enjoy and thanks for reviewing!

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

**Another Blow**

"The wedding shall go on as planned." Mr. Nagasaki's words fell on deaf ears for while Kaede's mind and body was covered in a mournful cloak, her spirit was far away.

"Kaede! Are you even listening to me? Your mother and I have agreed, the wedding would go on as planned." Her father's voice boomed into her room, but Kaede remained still as she was moments ago before her father had barged in the locked door. This was to be expected. Mr. Nagasaki always did handle the business and family problems, from cutting deals with other businessmen to which guests they would entertain for dinner. While the only problem Mrs. Nagasaki dealt with was what to wear for the day and if she had accessories, a bag and a pair of shoes to match.

When she was young, Kaede always wanted to look as perfect as her mother. Mrs. Nagasaki always looked like the rampway model that she was, keeping her trim figure-8 and long, raven, satin hair in tip-top condition. She was up to date with the latest fashions, dressing up to the nines wherever she goes. Kaede of course benefited from her mother's fashion inclination as well. She was dressed like a doll, with frills and laces when she was a mere baby; with the cutest rainbow colors when she was three and with the latest fashion when the sizes fit her. It was fun for a girl of course. Who wouldn't want to be the envy of all the other girls when you're only seven and already clutching Versace and clinking Ferragamo?

But as they say, children won't stay young for long. Soon, she found her mother's passion for superficiality quite tiresome. She got bored of their thrice-a-weekly shopping sprees and hour-long dress-ups just to go for tea with her mother's "friends." Like any girl who was just entering puberty, she needed to be guided on what to do and how to act, not just physically but emotionally as well. This is the part where her mother failed...greatly.

When Kaede was three, her mother was horrified when she had accidentally peed on her. The look on her mother's face and the shriek in her voice was enough to warn Kaede never to even mention about "disgusting" things again. So when Kaede had her first period, she had to resort to revealing her fear to Tama, a household helper that has been in their family even before she was born. Tama then corrected her wrong notion of running out of blood and dying even before she reaches age fifteen. She taught her how to wear a sanitary napkin and how this meant that she was becoming a young lady. Tama was the closest thing she had to a real friend.

Through the course of time, Kaede learned to keep things to herself for fear of rejection. And as years passed by, her mother and her had become distant acquaintances. Her father, the son of a military general, on the other hand, was and still is a hard man who never said more than, "you did well," as a sign of affection. If you received a handshake from him, well, that meant you've met his expectations, which happened once in about every five years.

Kaede barely understood what was it that made her family different from others. Their family had a father, a mother and a child. What was wrong? Was it her? Was she not trying hard enough? She had always asked these. But the passing of time made her forget the question that never found an answer. Up until present time, an exchange of a few formalities was enough for a family conversation. They usually had nothing to talk about anyway, because though they lived under one BIG roof, they hardly knew each other at all.

This tête-à-tête, with the minutes actually ticking by, was a very rare occurrence.

"The invitations have been distributed to more than a thousand guests from all over the world. The banquet and ceremony has been arranged even months before. Your dress has been sent in from Italy a week ago." Mr. Nagasaki was not one to beat around the bush. If there was one thing she learned from him, it was "time is money." And there's not one minute or one penny to waste. "Everything is in order."

_Everything is in order..._

What does he mean by 'everything is in order?' Kaede's brain slowly minced and digested the words. How could he say that everything will go on as planned where her husband to be, the groom, is dead? Kaede moved from her sitting position and entered from the balcony. Though she kept her mouth shut, her eyes beheld all the questions inside her.

"Listen Kaede—"

"Father," Kaede interrupted quietly. "Hisaki... is gone." She almost choked on the last word for it was saying the words out loud that pierced her painfully inside.

"Yes he is. I'm sorry for that," Mr. Nagasaki's voice, however, did not even waiver from his even business tone. "But Doumyouji, the name that we have built this engagement on, still lives..."

What was he talking about? Kaede's mind spun from the whirlwind of thoughts that purged into her head. It was just a week ago that her wedding dress arrived; just a week ago that Hisaki had died in a car accident; just a week ago when life was still worth living for. A week could stretch on like seven lifetimes, it seems.

"I, I don't understand," Kaede sat on the bed for support. It was almost two weeks since she had eaten a full meal and fatigue was taking its toll.

"While Hisaki had unfortunately died in that... car accident and thus could no longer fulfill his duties as a groom..." Mr. Nagasaki made it all sound like some business venture, a contract that the two parties, Kaede and Hisaki had mutually agreed upon. It sounded like it was Hisaki's duty and responsibility to marry her, as it was hers to marry him. "...Therefore, I have found a _worthy_ replacement." The stress on the word 'worthy,' however, did nothing to soften the surprise effect on Kaede.

Replacement. What in the world was happening? Were their technology advanced enough to create a clone? Unlikely. But how? How would you replace someone like Hisaki, someone as kind, as loving, or as intelligent?

Impossible.

As if reading her thoughts, Mr. Nagasaki spoke again, this time in a slightly kinder tone. "Kaede, we can not cancel the wedding because it would erupt into a controversy for sure. Who would believe that Hisaki, through some strange coincidence, died from some accident just a couple of weeks from the grandest wedding of the year?" He sat beside her to offer perhaps the little comfort he could give. "People will insinuate. They will make stories. They will believe anything. Anything except the truth."

"Father, we have proof..." Kaede looked into her father's eyes for compassion.

"Do we really? All we have are "pieces" of what happened... No one can even guarantee that it was indeed Hisaki who came into the store and bought flowers... Kaede, you are a grown woman now. You must understand that people will certainly misunderstand the chain of unfortunate events that has befallen us... Enemies will spin lies and the controversy will never rest. Most of our business partners will take advantage of the opportunity to drag our company down and take hold of the major shares. It is something that I will not allow to happen."

"No Father. I will not marry another man." Kaede's voice was firm. Ironically, in its calm and rather soft-spoken tone, it simply screamed NO.

"Kaede, I did come to ask for your permission." The cold in his voice chilled Kaede to her very bones. Her father's earlier shows of sympathy were gone now. "I am merely letting you know that the wedding will push through." With that, he straightened his suit, stood up and left her room.

Kaede was left to ponder with her own thoughts once again.

Kaede had not left her room for weeks after that. Her insensitive jerk of a father had managed to crush what little optimism, for lack of a better word, was left, leaving her in such a confused and desolate situation. Meal trays were left at her doorstep three times a day because she refused to open her door to anyone. A week followed with the same routine.

It was because of Tama that Kaede was able to resolve her internal conflict in peace. If not for a bite of the bread in the morning or a slice off the portion of meat at dinnertimes that Tama's sharp eye noticed, Kaede would seem to be starving herself to death and her father would've surely seen to it to wreck her door to pieces and force the food down her throat. What little nourishment Kaede had was because Tama would bring the tray of food, whisper what few words of comfort she could give through the thick door and beg for Kaede to eat.

But beyond that crack, a thin string that still connected Kaede to the real world, she was dealing with grief on her own, in a place where fantasies came alive, where dead fiancés still live, where time could be turned back, where happily-ever-afters exist.

...And if you believed that, like Tama and her less-than-concerned parents did, then it just shows how little you know of Nagasaki Kaede.


	10. Crumbling Walls

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the cliffhanger. I just couldn't resist. Anyway, here is the next update! I hope you like this.**

* * *

**Echoes Of The Past **

**Crumbling Walls**

Screaming, cussing, hitting, stomping, crying, kicking and dying.

That is what she felt at that exact moment. Kaede wanted to kill herself, to rid herself of the essence of life that was continuously flowing inside her, to release her from the mortal bounds that kept her tied to her misery. It was easy really, to just slit her wrists or chug down that bottle of pills or perhaps jump from the five-story balcony that's so opportunely situated by her room.

Every night since Hisaki's death, she tossed and turned in bed, never having that dreamless sleep she so longed for; and every waking moment, she was constantly plagued by memories of their happier times. It was as if what happened in reality had not been enough torture, for all means of temporary escape were blocked. It was as the heavens were persistently punishing her until she's driven to the very edge.

But Kaede fought, she fought valiantly as hard as she could, until her body gave up.

After that day that Mr. Nagasaki had "informed" Kaede of his plans to go on with the wedding, Kaede had decided to stop all her foolishness.

...And just go crazy with life.

If life wanted to tango, she was going to jump right in and dance her troubles away.

Kaede wanted to forget, even just for a while, but every minute spent sulking in her room just brought her more pain. She felt like a piece of jutting rock in the midst of a stormy sea, getting smaller and smaller, weaker and weaker, as wave after giant crushing wave slapped and knocked her mercilessly. Just when she thought things couldn't get worse, she now was supposed to marry a man she didn't even know.

It was beyond human control. Kaede needed to let it all out.

Ever heard of the saying, "Misery loves company?"

Miserable and hurting, that's exactly what Kaede decided to find.

Kaede snuck out every night through the balcony and onto the tree that so conveniently stood near, not wanting anyone to know where she's been spending all her "grieving" time. She visited the hottest spots in town, shopped for clothes that would have made Betty Boop look like a nun and drowned her sorrows in alcohol. She did things she knew her parents would never approve of. She went in to that disco with luminous paint and bathed herself in color as she grooved to the tunes. She frequented the bars where everyone just let loose and had fun. Soon enough, her face became familiar in these hangouts and popular with the guys.

Night after night, she went in hoping to get a good kick into her senses to numb her for another exhausted collapse onto bed. But often, the following mornings after a night of pure, wild fun, she found herself stark naked, sweaty and aching in another stranger's bed she didn't even remember going home with. She even experimented on drugs that took her to an unnatural high. She did everything, everything that could take the place of her problems.

But her fun nights weren't fun for long. Kaede suffered from terrible hangovers. Throbbing, pounding headaches and uncontrollable retching of last night's dinner were on top of her list. She would feel sick, unable to eat properly and just lie in bed, letting the dizziness wash over her until she almost passed out. A month went by and still, the nausea wasn't going away.

Finally, just after throwing up all that she's eaten once again in the bowl she now saw as her altar, Kaede called for Tama. Upon hearing Kaede's weak voice after such a long hibernation, the old woman went up the stairs as fast as her little legs could carry her. Tama looked her over, saying that she looked awful and that she needed to eat more. Her tears fell for Kaede, wanting nothing but peace and good health for the poor child, totally oblivious to where this "child" has been running off to.

She was brought to the hospital and there, she slowly regained her strength. But she never was put back together again. Pieces of her were never to be found. She was broken, weak, vulnerable. Hence, her father took charge.

The crystals were nothing less than dazzling white. They shone like little spotlights as sunlight bounced off their reflective surfaces. There was a myriad of brilliant colors exceeding those of a rainbow on the sea of absolute whiteness. It was simply a spectacular sight.

If anyone should be awarded the Best Looking Bride for the Year, it should go to none other than Nagasaki Kaede. She looked like a doll, with her arranged hair in a tight bun covered by a laced veil, leaving some delicately curled strands framing her made-up face. Her lips were a moist deep shade of pink, almost red. Her cheeks looked like she was slightly blushing from all the attention. Her eyes were highlighted to appear round and deep-set. She was picture perfect underneath her veil and in her immaculately pristine gown.

The photographers must have agreed, along with all those invited to the exclusive occasion, because they didn't stop clicking and flashing as Kaede walked slowly down the red ceremonial aisle.

It was a month; a month after Hisaki's death and the wedding went on as planned. Mr. Nagasaki was surprised when Kaede finally conceded to his wishes. He was expecting trouble, because he knew his daughter. She was strong-willed, stubborn and scandalous. Yet, in this one time, she surprised him. He had come to her, asking nicely for the last time. What he didn't expect was that she would agree.

"Kaede, time is running short. I must ask you to cooperate or I will have to use force. Don't make it hard for yourself..." Mr. Nagasaki visited Kaede one morning. It was a morning when she had just thrown up in the bathroom and was quite drowsy, but feeling like herself nevertheless.

Kaede breathed in slowly, feeling her thundering heartbeat and the thousands upon thousands of eyes fixed upon her. She continued smiling, repeatedly chanting her mindless mantra, "Breathe, one step at a time. Left, right. You're going to be fine. Breathe, left, right. Breathe, left, right..."

Finally, the altar came to view...and there he stood, beaming, with his hands behind his back, like she dreamed him to be.

Doumyouji Hisaki.

"Hisaki, will you take Nagasaki Kaede as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?" the minister asked the groom.

"Yes, I do," he said with all sincerity.

"Kaede, will you take Doumyouji Hisaki as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?" the minister turned to the bride.

Hisaki looked into her eyes, searching for an answer, but she just couldn't look back. She was still wondering, up to that last minute, if the lie was worth it. Her thoughts averting to the happier times with Hisaki, she finally said, "I do."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." It was sealed with a kiss. It was final. It was done. Kaede had gone through what her father wanted, what she wanted... She's finally moved on. As their lips met, the people could not help but cry tears of joy, some of envy, others remembered their own weddings of bliss and everyone said they looked perfect together.

But why were the tears brimming in her eyes saying otherwise?


	11. Unexpected Revelation

**Author's Notes: **Through all those schoolwork and other psychotic things I'm involved in, I still managed to squeeze in time to write! The only reason is because I LOOOOVE this fic! Hehehe...and just so those who are waiting for this update wouldn't have to wait too long. Hehehe! When I made the last update, I was actually thinking that twist of Kaede marrying a fake Hisaki would turn people off. Surprisingly, I think I got more reviews than I did in most of the other chapters. Hmm...which made me think and PRESSURED me to do a better one to measure up to those compliments reviewers have generously showered on undeserving me.

Anyways, so I hope y'all like this! I thwacked my head and this is the best SHOCKER I could come up with. Hehehe! Enjoy people!

**

* * *

**

**Echoes Of The Past **

Unexpected Revelation

Kaede felt shivers descend her spine as she sat down on her leather chair, averting from the generous amounts of moonlight coming in through the bay windows and shifting into the shadows, her eyes turning a deeper shade. It was hard to recall memories that she had tried so hard to forget. It was like looking for an object in the least likely places, because she hid it where she knew she wouldn't search in. She focused, concentrated, on reviewing the pages of her life that had quickly went by, tracking the pages that mattered most.

She would have never thought her life would take a turn like this.

As a teenager, she used to dream of traveling, seeing the wonders of the world, hand in hand with a guy taking after many of the lead men in the romance novels she would read until very late at night. She would daydream about the day she would be swept off her feet like many of the female leads ended up to be, safely secured in the arms of their gallant heroes. But when her turn came, she was extremely disappointed.

Kaede felt nothing more than an empty vacuum where her heart used to be.

Hisaki carried Kaede all the way up to their hotel room after the grand reception where the photographers feasted not only on the hundreds of sumptuous dishes laid out, but also on the hottest couple in the elite society. Countless pictures were taken up the point where Kaede felt her jaw muscles already ticking from the overly exerted effort of putting up the mask of bliss when her inner turmoil fought in opposition to its inhibition.

"You can put me down now," Kaede said in a small voice as the both of them smiled for the last time that night and entered the confines of the elegant elevator, finally left in private.

"Not until we get to the room. That was your father's orders." Deciding she was in no mood and had no energy to debate, Kaede decided to just go along.

He flicked the light switch on and the room materialized itself in its entire splendor. They occupied the most expensive suite in the whole Maple hotel chain, which now rated five stars thanks to Kaede and Hisaki's efforts combined. Putting her down gently, her husband went to the balcony and looked below, cringing at their heightened position.

In that instant, Kaede almost had an idea of sending him plunging over to his quick death, but instantly erased it from her mind. She rationalized. Maybe she was not the only victim; maybe he was also just an innocent pawn in the great game manipulated by her dear father.

_Pity_, she thought, when this guy reminded her so much of her lost love.

"Scared?" Kaede voiced out in curiosity.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And you?"

She shook her head.

It was absurd, ludicrous even, how a woman can be married to a man she knew completely nothing about, except nothing was funny when it was actually happening to you.

"We don't know each other much, do we?" Then, she rephrased it to be more accurate. "Actually, we don't know each other at all." She tried to say it with as little sarcasm in her voice as possible. If she was going to live with this man for the rest of her life, she thought it wise to be civil rather than fighting with him each and every day.

"I'm not really Hisaki…" he said in a sheepish, apologetic tone that she mused about, weighing her thoughts of whether it sounded lame or just plain annoying. "I'm Kaii."

Kaede wanted to roll her eyes in exasperation, but contented herself with half a smirk and an, "I know." She wanted to say, "Hi, I'm Kaede, your wife" and imagined him to reply, "I'm Kaii, your husband." It was mechanical how they walked to each other and shook hands like business acquaintances, being formally introduced to each other for the first time.

"So, what do we do now?" he asked her with that cheerful grin again. She really was starting to seriously think if she should start hitting the guy on the head for being too damn happy or liking him for being, well, _nice_.

She decided neither.

"Sleep."

Kaede sat heavily on the dresser beside the bed, taking her mother's priced and extremely heavy diamond earrings off her sore earlobes. When she turned around, Kaii was already in the bathroom, apparently brushing his teeth and humming quite loudly. In a little while, he came out in boxers and went straight to the large sofa to sleep, bringing with him one of the many blankets and pillows from the walk-in closet.

She went in after him, carefully removed all traces of make-up and went through that nightly beautifying ceremony, or at least that's what her dermatologist said. When Kaede reluctantly came out a good half hour later in only a skimpy, almost transparent and ridiculously short nightgown that barely concealed her knickers, which she knew her mother purposely packed for her in the place of the pair of silk pajamas she put in her bag, Kaede found Kaii already sleeping soundly on the sofa.

Kaede didn't know whether to be insulted that he slept on their wedding night or be relieved that he wasn't an advantageous, horny, bastard like most men. Plus, he didn't snore at all. There goes one point to him, she credited. Maybe this wasn't as bad as she made it out to be.

She treaded the carpet gently towards his sleeping form and could not help but stare closely at his handsome features. Here was a man who looked like Hisaki, but was nothing like him at all. She held back the urge to trace her fingers on the side of his face. It was too surreal.

"Cute butt, honey," he whispered in his sleep. Kaede almost jumped in fright. It would be so embarrassing to be caught fawning after him when they've only just met, she thought. But it was more embarrassing to have heard him say those things in his sleep. Thinking of her earlier impression, she erased the positive point. Maybe he wasn't that goody-two-shoes she thought he was.

Just like that, her guard was up once again.

If anyone assumed that Hisaki and Kaii were nothing in common, then they were wrong. If anything, Hisaki and Kaii looked like two peas in a pod, spoke alike in a courteous but straightforward manner, and dressed strangely alike in that confident, no-fuss way they carried outfits effortlessly like seasoned ramp models. Moreover, they both possessed the mind of a great strategist, specifically a marketing strategist; quick to catch up and jump on briskly passing opportunities. What they wanted badly enough, they got. Simple as that.

But, what followed next, shocked Kaede beyond her wildest expectations. Just as she was about to walk back to the bed, Kaede heard him mutter a startling revelation, "Zenko sweetie, you're one hot piece of male species…Grrr!"

Kaii is gay.


	12. Confused Pawn

  
**Author's Notes:** Hello, hello, hello! *waves* I'm sorry for that unannounced hiatus. I met a huge writer's block and mountains of schoolwork, so I hope y'all understand and forgive me for my absence. Plus, I worked on my relatively new poetry blog, which I encourage you to visit: **toinks.diaryland.com** and drop me a line in the guestbook if you have the time. *wink* 

**Last Chap Recap: **Kaede and "Hisaki" have just been married. "Hisaki" is not Hisaki though. He's Doumyouji Kaii, a sort of replacement for the one who passed on. That set-up was sort of expected, but what Kaede was expecting at the very least was to find out on her wedding night that the man she married is **G-A-Y**!!! 

Stay tuned for more surprises!

**Please read and review people! **Little thank you notes for reviews on the previous chapter are at the bottom!!! See you there!

**~ * ~**

**Confused Pawn**

There are times in life when you'd rather not look back into the past for fear of retribution. Every waking moment is nothing more than another day to work yourself to the nub, to keep your mind from wandering into those unwanted memories. Guilt is constantly at your mind, in your heart, eating away at your sanity. Consciousness is a torture as voices ceaselessly remind you of things in the past and things yet to come. Even sleep, the only means of escape, just a few hours of unperturbed rest, is deprived from you.

But such is not the case with Doumyouji Kaii.

Kaii yawned widely as he stirred out of that deep dreamy sleep, only to be surprised out of his wits by a pair of brown eyes boring down on him. "K-Kaede?" he rubbed his drowsy eyes to see more clearly. "G-good m-morning…" His voice trailed as he looked at Kaede's smiling face. There was just something eerily odd about her smile…like he had seen it in some slasher movie, he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Good morning, husband," she said with as much sweet sarcasm as her tone could hold. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

He nodded mutely. Why was she looking at him like that?

"How about we visit your favorite father-in-law?" She asked sweetly.

"He's my only father-in-law…" he groggily replied.

"I wouldn't know," she said, tossing a robe in his way as she headed to the dresser and started brushing her hair. Kaii sat up from bed wondering where all the anger was coming from. Try as hard as he could, he couldn't find anything he'd done to her yesterday. Maybe it was all a bad dream? Having a grumpy wife like this every day for the rest of his life was just not part of his lifetime plan.

Kaii went into the bathroom in hopes of clearing his murky thoughts with hot blasts of water. But Kaii emerged from the shower some fifteen minutes later, dressed in casual denims and a polo shirt, looking real clean and smooth on the outside, but still foggy on the inside. Without any intention to explain, Kaede took the lead and the couple headed to the Nagasaki Holdings' top floor.

**~ * ~**

"What brings you two here? You should be in Maui at this time." Mr. Nagasaki asked without looking up from the contract he was reading. He continued scanning the paper, ignoring the mute couple in his office. Maybe it was the nonchalance in the way he spoke or the obvious disinterest at them or the manner of displeasure of seeing them first thing in the morning, but something just snapped inside Kaede.

She wasn't going to play mind puzzles anymore.

"You thought I would never find it. You think I'm just stupid pawn that would never figure out how to play your game. But you're wrong, father." Kaede hissed, crossing her arms over her chest indignantly as if daring him to prove her otherwise. "You're so wrong."

"Look, I have no time for guessing games, Kaede. If you think I would-"

"Don't deny it any longer, father. I know that my husband is-"

"--Is not Hisaki. I know you must know by now. I have not reared you as a brainless twit. I knew you'd catch on. Now, if you want no more interference in your married life, my only request is for a legitimate heir, one that'll carry our name," Mr. Nagasaki said almost in one breath. And with only a slight nod of acknowledgement at Kaii who stood there confused, he quickly added, "Along with yours, of course."

"Y-yes, sir." Kaii bowed before Mr. Nagasaki who looked up for the first time and pulled Kaede by the elbow out of the room before she could say anything else.

Kaede was dumbfounded. Could her father not know? She turned to look at Kaii who stood there tapping his foot anxiously at each button lighted on each floor they descended and looked at his watch alternately. It was…like…like he was afraid of her revelation.

Inside the elevator, Kaede tried to assess the situation, but it only made her thoughts and feelings even messier than before. She didn't know what to think anymore. It was as if everyone in on the game, and everyone knew their parts to play. There was no one she could trust. Almost unaware, Kaede slowly slid down to the floor and wrapped her arms around herself in a vain attempt to rid of the cold that ran up and down her spine in shivers. She was weak and vulnerable. She knew it wasn't the wisest thing to show it to her enemy, but Kaede no longer had the strength to put up a strong façade.

Kaii didn't hesitate a moment when he held and comforted her gently inside the elevator, letting her lean onto his chest where Kaede almost felt safe.

**~ * ~**

Now the only problem left was…how on earth would they produce an heir? It was the thought that occupied Kaii's head for the rest of the day. Sure, Kaede was attractive, he thought as he watched her rear form walking out of the elevator and into the waiting car. But should he, could he, have sex with her?

A hesitant and indecisive Kaii wrestled with his doubts day in and day out. How was he going to get out of the pit he dug himself into? Was he supposed to figure out how to clamber out by himself or was he supposed to cry out for help in hopes of some heaven-sent mercy? The deliberation would have stretched to months and even years without reaching a conclusion had he not noticed the growing lump on Kaede's stomach.

It was the answer to Mr. Nagasaki's wishes.

Kaede and Kaii never, not once, talked about her pregnancy. They went on with their formalities for the next eight months, just nodding and thanking people who congratulated them. They acted as if everything was just the way it should be. Everyone waited along in anticipation without an inkling of what actually went on behind the curtains as the famous couple infanticipated the next heir.

Ten months later, the first of the next generation of Nagasaki-Doumyouji's was presented to the world. A two-month-old baby girl was introduced in a pink lacey puffy dress that she almost drowned in, a pink bonnet with little roses and with little pink Gucci baby shoes to match as Doumyouji Tsubaki. She was presumed to be the luckiest child in the world with two beautiful, very wealthy parents who smiled and cooed with her in every interview and every press picture. Plus, she was rumored to be receiving an incredibly huge inheritance from Grandpa when she reaches twenty-one.

For one who seems to have it all, life sound so perfect. The life of the rich and famous. Sounds so perfect indeed.

Surreally perfect.

**~ * ~**

**Author's Little Thank You's:**

**jestina:** Yes, he is gay indeed. Shocking, isn't it? It wasn't a part of my first plan, but I don't know how it got into my head and transformed itself into words. LOL! Thanks for reviewing.

**windsoffortune:** AAHHH!!! I missed your animated reviews. Where are you? Anyways, if you're asking what I'm doing to her. I think I honestly am being slightly sadistic over here. hehehe. I can't help it though...It must've been bad karma for Kaede or something. hehehe!!! But I'll try to be nicer...TRY. *wide grin*

**anonymous: **Now, you know. Hehehe!!! See ya next chapter!

**Sheen**: Yes, Tsubaki is here at last. As for Tsukasa, he's going to be entering the story either next chapter or the chapter after that. I've got another twist to that... I'm cooking up quite a storm here! I just have a hard time piecing them together. hehehe! I've got future chapters, but nothing in between. What a problem. BTW, congratulations on your finished fic!!!

**Ruth**: Of course it's a business deal. (LOL! At least, that's what I think.) Hmm...now that you've mentioned it, I realize I didn't quite explain how Kaii was chosen as Hisaki's substitute. Anyhow, I will explain HOW but the WHY will be covered in the upcoming chapters. Thanks for reviewing again!

**Lian**: Haven't received a review from you for the longest time! Nice to see you're back on track!!! Oh, and how's your own story-struggle?

**cuppajava**: Hmm...not giving away too much hints is actually part of the mystery I'm trying to build on Kaii. But as the story is written out, more and more will be revealed. Don't worry, I'm planning to update more quickly this time around. *wink, wink*m

**888**: Hello there! Yes, he is G-A-Y. hehehe!!! I guess your questions have been answered already. Keep reading and thanks for the review!

**Lizzy5**: WOW!!! This is great to hear from a new reader! *showers balloons and confetti* I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks for the review and hopefully, I'll be hearing from you again! *wink*

**mythical**: I must admit, I'm flattered. ^_^ Thanks for taking time to review! And yes, you did help. Thank you!

**Please REVIEW again! I'd love to hear from you all!!! Thank you!**


	13. Firstborn Doumyouji

**A/N: **Onto the story, well here's another sort of filler chapter. It's a little short... but I hope you understand because I need to set up some things in the story. Tsubaki is finally in the picture. By this, I guess you know what (or who) will come soon after. ENJOY!

* * *

**Firstborn Doumyouji**

Three years past and Kaede has accepted the fact that her husband was gay.

Aside from discovering that Kaii has been frequenting some high-end gay bars all across town and receiving some complaints from suspiciously handsome secretaries, Kaede found him even more motherly than she was.

_Funny…_ Kaede wrinkled her nose at the memory. He could've been such a sweet mother. If only he had the reproductive organs to give birth and maybe mammary glands to breastfeed, Tsubaki would've found a mother and a father in Kaii.

Kaii tried to put up the disguise he had worn for years, but as he aged, significant telltale signs began to emerge revealing his closet homosexuality. Kaede had to buy off many of their employees' silence in exchange for promotions and cold hard cash. If it didn't work, connections with certain syndicates and underground lords did the trick. It wasn't Kaii's image that she protected actually; rather it was the image he projected as a father.

A toddler by now, everyone expected Tsubaki to be some spoiled little rich girl who would throw a tantrum and bawl every time she didn't get what she wanted. But surprisingly, Tsubaki did not meet those expectations. She was well-behaved and every bit as polite as an educated socialite, even at that young age. Most of them thought the Doumyouji's had taught and trained her well by showing her proper etiquette in public and private functions.

But in reality, the Doumyouji's just hired the best tutors money could buy.

Tsubaki grew up under the watchful eye of Tama, the old household helper who was the nanny of Kaede when she was growing up. Kaede and Kaii were in and out of the house at the most inappropriate times. They would come home past midnight, head to their own rooms at opposite ends of the mansion and leave promptly at seven in the morning to go back to the office.

As the business continuously expanded, the less their presence was felt.

They are playing robots, that's how Tama tried to bring some humor into the dire situation, explaining in terms she thought that Tsubaki would better understand.

But Tsubaki was not just like any child. She was exceptionally perceptive. It made her wonder why they were nothing like the families on TV. She felt the tension in the household when her parents were home and the chill when her parents were away. Tsubaki loved staying outdoors during playtime or even during study hours, not setting aside the fact that every word out of her mouth echoed eerily inside the enormous mansion she shared with virtual strangers.

There were times when Tsubaki was thought to have been a strange, almost abnormal child. Outside, during playtime, Tsubaki was always energetic, creating her own world with invisible playmates all afternoon. Yet, during the rare times they had dinner as a family, she hardly made any noise except to politely thank the servants who served the food, which was maybe because Kaede and Kaii conversed in business terms or as Tama thought it, Tsubaki tried to be at her best behavior in hopes of some words of acknowledgement from her parents.

But she rarely received them.

Tsubaki almost seemed invisible to her mother, the one parent she longed for the most. And though her father occasionally brought treats home for Tsubaki in the rare times he caught her awake, she felt him holding back. To make up for their absence, her parents did not deny her whims. But she didn't want to shop for toys or dresses by herself, which was often what she and Tama did with an unlimited credit access in hand.

Like any child, she wanted nothing more than her parents to be there.

She wanted to sit in her father's lap; listen to him read a storybook and then tuck her in to sleep. She wanted a mother to prepare a glass of warm milk beside her bed, whisper 'goodnight' and kiss her on the cheek just before she drifts off. She wanted the feeling of security as she sleeps under her parents' watchful gaze.

Unfortunately, she received none of these as her father and mother came in and out of the house with nothing more than a formal greeting or a nod as they passed her on their way. Kaii and Kaede were always on the go, leaving no space in their schedule for family quality time.

Although Tsubaki already had a strong developed perception, she was still too young to understand the complexities of life. After all, she wasn't aware of just how much it pained her mother to look at her from a distance and watch her grow up into a beautiful young girl. Tsubaki didn't realize that underneath her mother's passivity laid a cut so deep that she couldn't move on with her life. Tsubaki didn't understand the pressures of the public on her socialite parents that they had to pretend to be the perfect couple every waking hour. Tsubaki didn't know that her mother was steeped in guilt and shame, because even Tsubaki's identity was a lie.

All the little kid thought was that she just wasn't good enough.

In reality, it wasn't because Tsubaki didn't measure up to her strict mother's expectations. But every time Kaede saw Tsubaki, she felt as if her inner demons were picking at her sores. It ached her so bad that she couldn't just go and embrace the baby she carried with her for nine long months. At the same time, she didn't want to grow close to her hence she be compelled to confess the dark secrets that even she wasn't clear of. The detachment in their maternal bond created a hollow ache inside that she diverted onto the emotionless long hours of work.

Doumyouji Kaede tried to make up with Tsubaki as she worked herself just to ensure that her child would be having a bright future, one that would not go to waste. She had dreams for her child; dreams that she wanted to achieve but then realized she never could. Maybe, if she were brought up right, if she weren't fooled by such abstract foolishness like love and hope, maybe she would not be hurt. Maybe if she learns to be independent, never allowing anyone close enough to make her vulnerable, maybe she wouldn't go through the pains she did. Maybe if Tsubaki chooses better paths in the crossroads, she would lead a good life; something real and meaningful, not like the well-guised acts that Kaede and Kaii put up.

Kaede wanted only the best for her daughter. It was the greatest dream a mother had for her child.

All Kaede wanted now was for Tsubaki to grow up nothing like her.

* * *

**Thank You Notes:**

**Ruth: **Wow. I'm flattered that you're still reading and reviewing. Really, I am. Thank you ever sooo much!!! I'm going to try and incorporate more twists and ficcie goodness just so I could repay all your niceness. Thanks for the feedback.

**Gal: **Hello! Another faithful one. I thought I had lost all my reviewers. Hehehe! I do try to make her as nice as realistically or at least, manga-ishly possible. Hehehe! Thanks for reviewing!

**cuppajava: **Hey, I appreciate the encouragement. I hope you don't guess all that I'm about to write. Hehehe! It'll kill the suspense. LOL! Thanks once again! See ya next chap!

**Please if there are other readers out there just lurking around, REVIEW!!! Thanks! (Especially if you want Tsukasa in the story ASAP! Hehehe!)**


	14. Twisted Fate

**Author's Notes: **So sorry for not updating regularly like I used to do before. It's not really that I'm losing interest in writing, it's just that I seem to be having some problem to putting scenes in my head into words. And I'd hate giving second-rate effort from me when I know I could make stuff better, which is why this chapter has been in incubation for a long, long time. Plus, to make up for the long wait, I've made this extra juicy! Yup, this is specially dedicated to all you who read and review!

Without further ado, one of the most emotional and angst-filled chapters I've written for Echoes of the Past...

* * *

**Twisted Fate**

Kaede still sat motionless; facing the city that knew her so well, yet never knew her at all. There was a twinge of light coming from the far distance. She squinted to see if it was the sun, her savior from this reminiscing, rising up to keep her busy for yet another day. But blinking, realized, that it was just another huge roving spotlight of a rave.

_Foolish kids. They know not what life they waste._

Her heart slumped back in its desolate place again as she realized none of the lights before her now were real. Her sun has not yet awakened. Sitting back, the darkness engulfed her once more as memories took her consciousness back to her yesteryears.

**~ * ~ ~ * ~~ * ~**

BLAM!

Kaede almost lost the frighteningly calm composure she held all her life when she heard a sound that only meant they had a flat tire.

_What now?_ She thought irately.

That morning, she had woken up extra early just to prepare for this big meeting, but during breakfast, the new maid clumsily spilled maple syrup onto her lap instead of her plate. The twit was a nervous wreck that Kaede needed only to shoot her a glare and she went scampering out of her sight. Something was just not aligned with the cosmos that day.

It seemed that destiny just wouldn't allow her to go to that important meeting regarding that new plantation they were going to build. Sure, she knew she was going to buy off land from poor farmers who would be left homeless, but hey, she was going to provide them with jobs as laborers. And they would only wait for…two years. Was it karma? She wasn't _that bad_, so why was the world going against her?

A knock on her window pulled Kaede from her thoughts. "Ma'am, I'm afraid we have a flat tire," the chauffeur informed her softly awaiting a barrage of insults about his incompetence. "And, _uhh_, no spare tire."

Already, Kaede could feel the blood rushing to her face. She was mad, no; furious as she punched in the number of the office on her cell phone only to find that there was no network signal in that god-forsaken area. She didn't know if it was because of the stuffy confines of the limousine or the unventilated humid weather, but she suddenly couldn't breathe properly. Calming herself, she stepped out gracefully out of the car and left the fumbling chauffeur with one order, "Wait for me here."

She walked to the nearest establishment, which happened to be an aged, rickety bar, to see if she could use the telephone, if there even was one. As the door swung open, she glanced casually at the patrons and spotted two men sharing a drink on the left side and a solitary man coming out from the washroom. She breathed a sigh of relief as she spotted a payphone near the washroom.

She turned her back to the people, cupping the phone under her hand to suppress the yell she was about to release on her agent. She had always been strict with keeping up with deadlines and being on time for meetings. Like her father said, 'Time is Money' and Kaede was never pleased to lose money, especially money that she worked her butt off to earn.

"Joe, here's a ten for all drinks," the man from the washroom said, placing the bill on the counter as he shrugged his coat on.

"I need to be in this meeting—" Kaede stopped in mid-sentence as she snapped her head to look at the man who was about to leave the bar.

He sounded just like--but it can't be. He's dead… He's been dead for three years.

The man was of Hisaki's height, but thinner. This man was not Hisaki. Hisaki was well formed as he used to work out thrice a week in the gym. This man was not Hisaki. That defeated slouch in his posture couldn't be Hisaki. This man was not Hisaki. Hisaki has long been gone. Kaede repeated the words over and over to herself.

_This man was not--_

Kaede was about to shake these thoughts away, when the man turned around and walked back to retrieve his baseball cap on the counter.

"Staring is rude" has been hammered into Kaede's head for all those years, but she had to find out if by any chance the heavens had reincarnated Hisaki into some other man.

Just as Kaede turned to face him, the man looked up, meeting her stare. His eyes widened in surprise, a mixture of recognition and disbelief, at the woman standing right in front of him. Kaede's face split into a wide smile as she threw her arms around Hisaki, unable to contain the barrage of emotions flooding inside her. In that brief second, Kaede forgot about who she was, where they were and how they looked. All she cared about was that she had found the love she thought was forever lost.

Hisaki hugged her as tightly as he arms could permit. He couldn't believe it either. After three years, her hair was still as soft, her scent still captured him and her body still contoured perfectly to his.

"Is it you? Is it really you?" Kaede whispered into Hisaki, hoping that he was not an illusion, praying that this moment was real. For what felt like a lifetime, they stayed in that embrace, afraid to let go, afraid to ask, afraid to believe again.

"Kaede, it's been so long," He whispered back, holding her tighter lest she fade away in a dreamy mist.

"Hisaki, I thought you were gone…" Kaede breathed a huge sigh of relief as she leaned onto Hisaki, a gaunt and tired Hisaki. "I thought you were…_dead_." The last word sounded as unreal to her as the man standing before her.

"And you—" Hisaki suddenly stiffened as reality sank in. "You're married."

Kaede looked as the expression of bliss and relief on his face just moments ago now turned bitter as he roughly pulled away from her.

"You married a man, just what, a month after I was gone? How could you just forget about me so easily?" His eyes that used to look at her tenderly now looked like molten ores, burning guilt and accusations into her.

"No, you don't understand. Please—" she begged to explain, to tell him what really went on, what pushed her to agree.

"Damn right I don't," he stubbornly spoke, venting out the hurt that fermented inside of him for all those years that he waited to have her back. "Do you know how much it hurt as I watched you exchange vows with a man that was supposed to be me? Do you know how it stabbed me as I watched your father give you to another man?" His voice was voice was raw, trying to stifle the pain that ate him, that covered his words. "…And to my brother no less!"

_Kaii is his brother?_

Kaede cupped her mouth to stifle her surprise. She didn't know. For the life of her, she didn't know…

"Hisaki, please… You were gone, I thought--" But before she could ask anymore of the questions that hounded her, Hisaki had leaped at the chance.

"You thought you should jump at an opportunity like that, is that it?" He spoke to her in a condescending tone and she felt herself growing smaller, not knowing she could actually shrink even smaller than how little she already felt.

"It's not that. I swear." Kaede would swear on her own grave just as long as he believed her, but even if she did, she wasn't sure she could convince him. When she agreed to marry Kaii in his place, pretending to be him, Hisaki didn't know what hit him as he went crashing to the ground. Betrayed by his own brother and the only woman he ever loved. He had never gotten up from that fall.

"Kaede, you said you loved me." His tone was sharp, biting as he turned his back on her.

"I did!" She hung onto his back, forgetting all that she was known for in that one maddening moment, wrapping her arms around the only man he felt safe with, the only man she wanted to spend her life with. "I do…I still do."

"Why, Kaede?" His head was hung low, and even though she couldn't see his eyes from behind, she could feel the sting in his tears as they fell on her hands. A single word hung in the tense air surrounding them, "Why?"

"I…was with child." A heavy burden dissipated promptly after she said the words that had bound her to her guilt for years.

He slowly turned around to face her.

"Am I…the father?"

"No," Kaede said with a heavy heart as twinges of regret went through her in tiny shivers. She would wish a thousand times over that he was the father of Tsubaki. She could've lied and say yes, but enough lies were made to last this lifetime. Kaede was tired of running from the guilt that kept her afraid at all times.

His face mirrored a thousand questions, but mainly it was, "Then, who?"

"I…don't know." With that, she slumped onto the nearby bar stool and kept her eyes on the floor, afraid of looking into accusing eyes.

"You slept with another man when you thought I was gone?" He said in disbelief, his mouth hanging open as though this woman in front of him couldn't have been the same woman he fell in love with.

The words hurt. It was the truth, but still…the words hurt so badly.

"Kaede, I don't know you anymore." Hisaki brushed his fingers through his messy hair in exasperation.

"Hisaki, forgive me." she pleaded. Kaede took his hand, hoping she could make him feel the genuine regret and shame she was feeling. If she could turn back the time, she knew she wouldn't be hasty. But she couldn't, just like all those who made mistakes they shouldn't even have thought of in the first place.

Slowly, she looked up with eyes beseeching absolution; only to be stared back at with his dim spheres flamed with scorn.

Hisaki was almost perfect, but perfection in this mortal world does not exist. He had learned how to be every bit of a gentleman, but one thing he had never learned was how to forgive.

Kaii was one of the unfortunate few who received the end of his wrath.

Almost twenty years ago, Kaii made the mistake of negligence, a mistake that any teenager could have made. But this simple oversight had been occurred at the wrong time and place. Hisaki was away in university then, taking up Business Economics on a scholarship. Kaii was in highschool and their youngest sister was in second grade. Kaii was supposed to walk with her home each day, as their parents are both working extra shifts just to make ends meet.

But that fateful day, Kaii decided at the last minute to meet up with friends to hang out instead and convinced his sister to go home on her own. Pumped up by Kaii's exaggeration of how she's all grown up and able to take care of herself, their little sister confidently walked on home.

Kaii came running home late that afternoon to the sounds of wailing sirens in their neighbourhood, only to find his parents crouched together in tears. Their only sister was dead. She was run over by a ten-wheeler truck whose driver didn't see her leisurely crossing down the road, moreso did not expect her crossing when the lights were green.

Hisaki jumped on the train home as soon as he heard. He almost ripped the driver's throat at the police station, but the policemen held him until he calmed and sat down helplessly, tears falling down his cheeks for a child who would never grow up. He had never been so angry, so angry that he was ready to commit murder.

Kaii never went back home after that, guilt-ridden by the death of their sister and because he knew Hisaki would never have forgiven him.

"I can't…" Hisaki confessed regretfully, his own disability weighing him down as well. "If there's one thing I can't do, I can't forgive."

Kaede's heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. As though he had punched her right then and there, Kaede winced from the pain that sliced inside her. She never expected him to be so blunt, so uncaring. But maybe years of suffering made him a hard, unfeeling man.

"Please then, give me this one night. Just this one, to remember you by…for old time's sake." Kaede knew it sounded absolutely pathetic at all points of view. She knew it was stupid to even ask this of him. But she wanted him so bad in her life. She wanted to have him in his arms this one night, even just for a few hours, so she can ingrain everything about him in her mind. If she lived for almost nothing, maybe she can live off his memory, even just that illusion, for the rest of her life.

Hisaki was quiet for a while, deeply considering her request. He obliged with merely a nod. Inside, maybe he knew it was what he needed too. They had to put a closure to their false hopes and dreams now that they were never coming true.

After being droven to the nearest hotel, Hisaki & Kaede drank glass after glass of the finest red wine the hotel had in stock, just sitting in the most luxurious room, contemplating, perhaps half thinking that the alcohol could mottle their senses and make them believe, even for a short while, that the person in front of them was the same one they had lost years ago. Make believe, the game of pretend was all there was left to it.

Maybe it was the wine, the softly playing music, the dark ambience or the years of longing. But whatever it was, the intense longing for each other finally took over.

Barely conscious of his actions, Hisaki faced Kaede with a menacing hunger in his eyes, his pain momentarily numbed by alcohol. He kissed her aggressively, tasting the sweet remains of the wine that still lingered on her lips, pushing her against her seat. Her mind screamed for her to push him away, a side of Hisaki she never knew, but her will waned, because her body desired to satisfy its suppressed cravings. Soon, they were in a tight embrace, lips locked in a fiery battle of tongues, limbs imprisoning them in, as hands clawed on each other's clothes that felt too hot and too rough on the inflamed skin. Hisaki and Kaede satisfied their bodily hunger as their sensations peaked one after the other in explosions only sexual intercourse could have delivered.

Kaede and Hisaki would have wanted to believe and remember that night as one filled with making love, but there was no love that mediated in the act of passion they shared. In the end, it was only gratifying sex of a one night stand.

Dawn came and passed.

After a sound slumber, one of the longest and most peaceful sleeps she has had for such a long time, Kaede reached to feel Hisaki beside her.

But she grasped nothing but air.

* * *

**Author's Thank You Notes: **

**  
888: **Thanks for the very nice comment. It was really assuring.

**BlackArmoria:** WOW!!! New reader! Intriguing nickname...where'd it come from? Thanks for reviewing...as for Tsubaki's father, Kaede doesn't really know. That's because she went crazy when her father asked her to marry Kaii, remember? She was grieving then, but she didn't know what to do so she decided to just leave her room and go wild.

**windsoffortune**: Yay!!! You're back! I've missed your reviews...SO MUCH! Yeah, Tsubaki is a little darling, the kind of child who you'd want for a daughter, unfortunately, her parents doesn't seem to actually realize that.

**deepseadolphin**: New reviewer! *showers confetti* Hurrah! Thanks for the comment. I really felt good about my writing. ^_~

**jeffer**: Needs more dialogue, huh? Well, I have comparatively more dialogues in this chap...how's that for starters? Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate it.

**cOokIng PoT**: Yay! I'm glad you reviewed...it's really a delight to hear from you. Thanks!!! I'm looking forward to more of these! *Wink*

**GreenCookie**: Hey! I'm glad I finally got a review from ya. I've been waiting SO LONG. Hehehe!!! And yes, you have discovered where I stash all that angst just boiling under my skin. About the Hisaki not being Hisaki, I sort of did it on purpose. I was picturing it as the scene played in my head, where Kaii does look EXACTLY like Hisaki but Kaede knew inside her that he was an impostor. Get me? Or do I really need to make it clearer? If I do, how do you think would I rewrite it? Need help.

**Buzz03**: Yippee!!! Another old reviewer is back! I'm really glad that you've reviewed the past three chapters you've missed. I really really appreciate that! Keep on reading to answer the questions you have in mind.

**Gal**: Here's the stew I've been cooking. Hehehehe! Thanks for the encouraging reviews!

**Sheen**: Hey! I thought I wouldn't hear from you again. I'm glad you're still reading. ^_^

Thank you everyone for the awesome reviews! I'll be writing the next chap as soon as possible. There are several hints on the plot already planted in this chap. Please review some more!


	15. Final Farewell

**Author's Notes**: I hope found the previous chapter satisfactory, even if it is rather heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this next chapter is none too kind to Kaede. There will be more tears to spill and more pieces to the puzzle. Please keep reading and **REVIEWING**!

**~ * ~**

**.**

**Letting Go**

Sunlight flowed in generously through the uncurtained windows, shedding light and soothing warmth inside the room, chasing away the cold, eerie shadows that hovered over the sleeping form on the bed.

Kaede squinted against the steady rays of the sun, wishing she had remembered to close the blinds last night. Pain racked her worn body. Kaede stretched out, expecting to feel Hisaki's calmly rising and falling chest beside her, but her fingers clutched nothing but air.

Awakened by the tingling alarms inside her head, Kaede quickly stood up and scanned the room. The only clothes remaining on the floor were here own. She hurriedly ran to the large bathroom, but he was not there. She flung the balcony doors open, but no, Hisaki was nowhere to be found. It only confirmed her fears.

Hisaki was gone.

Kaede knew he was only giving her a night like he said. She knew she wasn't supposed to get attached to him once again. God knows how hard she tried, but to have him so close, so near, to be able to touch him once again, Kaede could not help but have a tiny flicker of hope that he could learn to love her again.

Sadly, when you hope, when you expect, when you assume, yet get nothing in return, it only adds to the pain a hundredfold. Kaede learned about it firsthand.

She felt feverish, like her world was quickly spinning away, that she wondered whether it was from the aftermath of their late-night drinking or from the huge loss of Hisaki slipping through her fingers once again. She remembered how she lay on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart, just before her weary eyes shut closed. It was a blissful moment, thinking that maybe Hisaki could still change his mind, learn to forgive and accept her again.

But clearly, she wasn't given that second chance.

How could could she live again without him in her life? It hurt once to lose him, but to lose him again when he was so close was more painful that she had ever imagined. She had imagined this morning to be different, to be the brightest of her days. A day that would signify a change in her life, the beginning of a future they will share once again.

But there was no "we" to think of anymore. Now that they had been given  
another chance, she was faced with the brutal truth that the love they used to share no longer existed. The connection between them had deteriorated over the years. It was time to wake up from her illusory dreams. Agonizing and difficult though it may be, she was left with no choice but to accept his decision.

A part of her they did not meet again; maybe it would've been easier to forget him, or at least, bury him in her memories like she did for the past three years. It would have been easier to believe that he was dead and that nothing she could do to ever bring him back. But being able to see him again gave her a newfound hope for love.

A love that would never be requited. An offering, a sacrifice that would never be returned.

.

**~ *** ~**  
.

Kaede laid down in bed, too stunned to speak, move or even cry. She slowly closed her eyes, hoping that sleep could claim her mangled thoughts, but her eyes flickered open once more when she heard a crumpling sound from beneath her pillow. There it was, a note with her name scripted on it, neatly folded and tucked underneath.

Her heart surged with joy!

Maybe Hisaki had decided to go out for a while and he would be back soon. Maybe he had decided to give their love a new beginning. Maybe he had left his number and address so she could contact him. Maybe all is not lost, after all.

Kaede, barely breathing, carefully unfolded the paper with trembling hands and read the content.

_I know you have been wondering to where I was these last three years. But telling you about the whole story wouldn't do you any good. Those years were the darkest and most challenging times of my life, and I have been scarred beyond repair._

_There are things, secrets in life that are best left unknown. But I think you ought to know a part of what happened. At least, I owe you that much._

_After the accident where I got thrown out of the car, breaking several bones and acquiring concussions, I had amnesia. It felt like a dark cloud that kept me from remembering even my own name. I struggled with it, day and night, hour after hour. Even when I couldn't remember anything, something inside me kept me fighting to remember._

_There were times during therapy when I felt like a candle was lit inside my head, but before I could see clearly, a wind would blow and the light would die to leave me in the darkness once again. But I wrestled with it._

_I just knew that there was someone truly important that I had to remember—YOU._

_I wanted to die, but I fought to live for years, just feeding off from the memory of a girl I knew I loved, a girl I knew I was supposed to marry, a girl who was waiting for me. I couldn't see her face back then when my memory was all a blur, but I had a sense of mission, a strong urgency inside me to get better just so I can see her again, because I knew, she promised that she would be mine._

_When I lost her once, I thought I would never find her again. I lived life without a direction, just getting by each day with menial jobs to feed the cravings for alcohol, a deadening sedative to my inner pain as my memories returned excruciatingly slow and I realized I no longer had a life. In the eyes of the world, I no longer existed._

_I've waited so long for this day to come. The day that I wil finally be reunited with the girl of my dreams. But I was disappointed…for this girl no longer existed. Her well-kept innocence, unyielding principles, determined strength were all gone._

_I find myself in a desolate situation, because I now realize I have nothing left to live for. All that kept me alive was a mirage formed by the lonely deserts of my heart. But I don't want to live a lie anymore. My only wish is to be reunited with my love, a love I have lost but hopefully, will find again in another lifetime._

_I am sorry, Kaede._

_But I want you to know, I loved you._

Tears streamed down her face. It ripped her inside to have him speak of the Kaede she used to be. She realized that as much as she missed Hisaki, she missed her old self too. She had changed when she met him. She was healed from the hurt that she had accumulated over the years. She recovered from all the battle scars she had endured. But when Hisaki was gone, she reverted back to fueling emotions of anger and spite.

Hisaki was right.

She wasn't the same girl anymore.

She looked back at the letter, wanting to convince him that she could change. She would change, just for him. She wanted him to take back the words. For in her heart of hearts, she still was that same girl he used to love. She wanted to tell him that all was not lost, that it wasn't too late.

But for HIsaki, it was too late. He had lost faith in everything he believed in.

Kaede knew Hisaki truly deserved a life of peace and solitude…even one without her. For all that they've gone through; she now realized just how heavy the burden he carried was. Now, she knew she had to let go and set him free from the strings that bound him to her and their vows to each other.

It was time to bid farewell.

In her mind's eyes, she could see him writing the letter, trying hard but failing to keep his tears from dropping onto the letter, creating dark, inky smudges where elegantly scripted words used to be. Even his words were fading away as he wrote them. They were fading away as she read them. He was fading away from her life.

And far off, in a solitary haven, Hisaki's life was fading from his body as well…

Kaede knew that he would find peace elsewhere.

Hoping that her words would be carried to wherever he was right now, she had whispered to the wind, _I will miss you._

And in the present time, scarcely aware of herself clutching the old, yellowish, wrinkled letter in her hand, Kaede's mouth opened to form the words in reverential silence.

"_I still do."_

.

**~ * ~**

.

**Thank You Notes:**

**GreenCookie:** Oookay, so how's this? Hehehe. I'm beginning to get scared of our opinion on my updates, but I really do appreciate it. Be honest, and break it gently. I'm fragile. LOL! *wink wink* And no, you prolly know by now that it was not a dream. Good guess with the first one though!

**mythical**: Exactly what I was trying to show. Yes, Hisaki is human therefore must have a character flow, that one being unable to forgive. You hit it right! Thanks for the review.

**cuppajava**: Well, remember how I described in the Tragedy Strikes how the body was burnt and distorted and all that=beyond recognition? Plus, in the next chap, ANOTHER BLOW, I also mentioned how Mr. Nagasaki was saying that they didn't really have proof? I hope I got that cleared up. Yes, it's sad it's there was no love, but unfortunately, both of them weren't exactly the same people they were years back. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.

**myzee**: Sorry, if this chap update is even shorter. Hehehe! But I'll try to squeeze as much as I can, alright? Help me catch some plot bunnies, would you? THanks for reviewing!

**deepseadolphin**: Well, it wasn't a dream. But how and why Hisaki is alive again will be explained as we go along further. (There'll be no mystery if I told you the secret now, right?) Thanks for keeping up with me!

**BlackArmoria**: Yes, it's sad that they aren't in love anymore, at least, not with their present selves. It's such a waste, but it happens. After all, they haven't seen each other for the longest time and circumstances have transformed them. Thanks for commenting! See you next chapter!

**windsoffortune**: Well, I guess Hisaki was on the brink of sanity, if you know what I mean? Imagine losing your memory and when it comes back rushing in, you find out that your life's a mess. Actually, you don't have a life at all since Kaii had replaced him. I guess, it's hard to see Hisaki as a new man, but yeah, I'm harsh...and as GreenCookie said, "Slightly sadistic."

**jestina:** Hello there! *waves* Glad to see that you're back with me! Yayayayay!!! Was this update fast enough? See you next chapter!

**Buzz03**: You've hit it right on the head! Are you psychic? hehehe. We'll see if I can be kinder or just much worse to Kaede... Don't tell her though, she might come after me...LOL!

**Thanks for reviewing. I really draw insights and inspiration from your feedback. So keep 'em coming!!!**


	16. Doumyouji Heir

**Author's Notes: Finally, it's up and loaded. This is the chapter that hopefully crosses fingers and toes will get me back into the HYD groove. **(And THANK YOU HUGS to those who reviewed the previous chappie!)** Sigh. My muse has been quite lethargic for a while now. **

**Anyways, here's a peek into the young Doumyouji lifestyle. Enjoy!!!**

* * *

**Doumyouji Heir**

Detaching from that bout of nostalgia and lost love, Kaede took her coffee mug to wash it all down. But on her way to get a refill from the pot just across the room, Kaede found herself staring at the huge portrait of their family hanging on the wall. Beautiful smiles, selected angles and expensive clothes; a painting that befits a place in the museum to be preserved for centuries.

But the description below would aptly say, "Nothing is what it seems."

Years went by so fast after her last meeting with Hisaki, almost as quick as the zeroes were added on Doumyouji bank accounts. The Doumyouji name was rapidly becoming a household name as hotels started sprouting in different countries all over the world. But with all the gained fame, with it also grew the disadvantages of being famous. As wealth always brings along paranoia, the safety of the Doumyouji's were now placed in top priority.

"Get back here!" A big burly man in a black suit and black shades shouted at the kid with the backpack fleeing very swiftly.

"Catch me if you can!" The boy poked his little head, winking and sticking his tongue out at him before disappearing around the corner of an alley.

"Stop!" The man ran as fast as his legs could carry his weight, but when he got to the dirty alley, he was faced with loads of rubbish, a graffiti-filled brick wall, but no kid in sight. "Damn that kid! He's getting me in trouble again!" He pulled the lapel of his coat and informed the rest of the bodyguards about the current "hide and seek" situation.

Just as he left the alley, one of the trash bins slowly opened, revealing a pair of mischievous little eyes and then, followed by a wide grin. "No more school for today!" he exclaimed to himself, before jumping out and scurrying towards the arcade just a few blocks from the alley.

The boy was on his way to Cyber Arcade when he spotted the ice cream bar across the street. Without looking at the ongoing traffic, he crossed the street as fast as he could, zooming towards his destination. The vehicles' brakes' screeched and their tires skidded on the road creating a near collision in the intersection, but the boy didn't spare them a second glance. He only had one thing in his mind—a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and cascading chocolate syrup.

A charming little tune played as the boy pushed open the glass door and advanced onto the wide selection of ice cream combinations. "I want the biggest chocolate sundae you have!" the boy ordered, slapping a crisp bill onto the counter and licking his lips. "Yeah, and extra chocolate syrup!"

"Well, what's the magic word?" the middle-aged lady behind the counter asked.

The boy thought to himself for a while, and then smiled and said, "Now?"

For a second the lady looked appalled, but then she regained her composure, fixed her hairnet and smiling sweetly, told him, "If you want your ice cream, you have to say the magic word."

He wrinkled his brow in deep thought once again, but came up empty. The lady felt a little sympathy at the naïve child and asked, "Didn't your mother ever teach you any magic words?"

The boy finally smiled and with an accurate replication of his mother, victoriously proclaimed with his finger pointing directly at the lady, "Do you want to get fired?!"

The next thing he knew, he was back on the sidewalk with a wrinkled uniform, no ice cream and a foul mood.

"What's her problem? Those were the words, weren't they? My mom says that and everyone scurries to get what she wants! I don't get it!" The boy irately scratched his head in confusion, messing up his curly brown hair.

Shrugging off his questions, he decided that this event wouldn't ruin his day off from school. So whistling to himself, he picked up his backpack and happily walked on towards the arcade.

As soon as he was able to buy tokens, the boy headed straight to the newest virtual game. He excitedly inserted two tokens into the slot of the new virtual game and put the visor on his eyes. But just as the virtual dimension started filling his vision, the visor was snatched away as two pairs of muscular arms lifted him off his seat and out the arcade.

"Let me go!" he struggled, kicked and punched from all the directions a human anatomy possibly can. But outnumbered and outsized, he was pulled into the limousine and brought back to school.

Kaede had watched in mixed amusement and annoyance at the little boy on the screen, shaking her head and trying to hide the smile from forming on her lips. Who would've thought that a five-year old Doumyouji heir could be worth that much trouble? She could see he was going to bring quite a migraine in the future.

She had tried etiquette instructors, bitter old spinsters, and bodyguards who looked like ex-convincts, but they all failed to tame him. She had tried screaming (bawling, more likely) at him, cutting his allowance, making him go to bed without dinner and yet, nothing had worked. His son was as stubborn as a pregnant mule.

With an opponent like that, well-calculated strategies must be very carefully considered.

Kaede had mentally congratulated herself for coming up with the idea of putting a hidden camera in her son's backpack to keep her tabs on him constantly despite the thousand-mile distance from New York to Tokyo. That's one point for Kaede and zero yet for Tsukasa. But knowing her wily son, it wouldn't be long before he finds out about her scheme and then, she would have to cook up another ingenious game plan to match his.

She sighed, clicked the remote control as the screen rolled back up and proceeded back to work. But as she took hold of the papers in front of her, she caught a glimpse of the framed family picture beside her coffee mug. Her smile was quickly replaced by a look of melancholy.

Even then, they looked so perfect together. Blessed with hard-earned wealth, good genes and attractive physical attributes, the Doumyouji's almost seemed a perfect family. No one ever thought that maybe getting what you want, anytime you want, could be a problem. Everyone envied them.

But, if you just look close enough at the picture, you will see that none of those eyes reflected the joy in their pasted photogenic smiles.

* * *

**A/N: So? How did you guys like it? Please leave me a review. Thank you!!!**


End file.
